so is it just me or does your high sexdrive cause issues with your dh/dp ?????

[highsexdrive]

hi mnetteres
we have been together 7 years and we were always quite evenly matched

but no so anymore my dh works so hard and is tired but i no longer get the cuddles the hugs the kisses before he leaves or when he comes home he says all the right things but never follows through

we had a date last night no dd and went out together but i had a cold and he made no effort to make me smile to kiss my cheek

am i being to needy after seven years its only been a week since we last made love but i need it more often i get so fustrated and im starting to wonder if staying together could end up in a sexless marriage

and im so not prepared to do that

please give me some of your wisdom

tia x

[NotQuiteCockney]

You need to talk to him about this, find out if there are things you can do to make him feel more sexy with you. Are there other issues with your marriage?

[highsexdrive]

not that i know of

hes a major stresser tho and has been working loads we moved recently

and im coming out the otherside of a huge anxiety pnd episode

i feel i did let myself go dring that time but im clawing my way back up

i dress sexy for him i make an effort he doesnt notice i clean the house he gets excited

we went out last week in a group got all dressed but he wouldnt have sex with me with the lights on i feel he is having body issuses with himself not me but i think the bigger a deal i make of it the more the clams up

i understand all this bt im so sexually fustrated sorry im so selfish bt this is a hge issue for me

[highsexdrive]

please dont go there its too scary

[NotQuiteCockney]

Ok, first of all, your sexual needs are, to a large extent, your responsibility. I assume you masturbate? (If not, please do!)

It's not outrageous that he gets excited about you cleaning the house, he's taking an interest.

If he's having body issues with himself, that would put him off sex, has his body changed recently?

Work/moving house/anxiety PND/etc all makes for a bit of stress, doesn't it.

[StarryStarryNight]

Could you try address it from another angle?
If he has body issues, and you are getting out of pnd, maybe ease down a little. Get yourself a ladys buzzy friend for your needs (he doesnt have to know, so as not to put any pressure) and see if you could take up an activity together. Good for both of you. It could be walking or cycling, or joining a dance class. Maybe you just need to do something together to get back on track. Try change the diet and ensure you cook healthy meals (if not doing so already) to ensure neither of you put on any weigh, and with fresh air and exercise, you may find he is less tird, feels better about himself, and you, and your sex life may soon be back on track.


Been there, followed the path as above.

[sevenyearitch]

ok we do major healthy meals anyway i own about 5 buzzy toys this is still not enough

he has joined gym and he plays football 1 a week

we are quite limited with time together coz of lo and my dh too shy for dancing

thankx for answering going slowly mad here