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Not my 'type'

(10 Posts)
Rainydayss Thu 16-Jul-20 22:54:24

After divorce has any of you gone for completely different person to your ex?
My exDH had a high powered job, quiet, respectful, sensible, yet turns out he was leading a double life for years..
So now I've met someone who's completely opposite in terms of is more practical, lower paid job bit hard worker, (dare I say it) - a bit rough around the edges but kind, thoughtful and genuine.
I'm just struggling with the difference and everyone's perception of the type of person I should be with.

OP’s posts: |
noego Thu 16-Jul-20 23:11:15

Everyone's perception doesn't count. It is what you're attracted to that matters.

Closetbeanmuncher Thu 16-Jul-20 23:12:14

Other peoples perceptions don't matter; if it feels right go for it.

tickertyboo Thu 16-Jul-20 23:13:18

Why do you care about everyone's perception of the type of person you should be with?

AnotherBiteMe Thu 16-Jul-20 23:41:00

I don't have a type. All my exes (and current partner) have nothing in common except that they are all nice people.

SoulofanAggron Fri 17-Jul-20 00:46:17

It can be a rebound thing, you want someone who isn't going to be like your ex/act like he did. You might go off him. But I hope it goes well. xx

What other people think doesn't matter unless friends are telling you this new guy is bad news for a reason. Often we hear on these boards that fiends have warned someone their OH is dodgy, have worried for them, and they should've listened to them. Most people were very worried for me being with my ex, based on how uncaring he was to me and the effect he had on me.

So, yes, what other people think isn't important but you could bear their observations in mind and see if you notice him doing anything concerning.

TossACoinToYerWitcher Fri 17-Jul-20 01:15:33

I did.
Unfortunately, they didn't go for me... blush


backseatcookers Fri 17-Jul-20 01:35:44

It's you that would be with them, if they are a decent person who treats you nicely why does it matter what people's 'perception' would be?

MynameisHappind Fri 17-Jul-20 06:56:40

I thought the common reaction is that you choose someone so different after a significant ex, otherwise it looks like you are not over them and trying to find them in other people?

Just because he is different from your ex doesn't mean he is incapable of doing what your ex's done.

Eesha Fri 17-Jul-20 07:30:47

My ex was very attractive, an alpha male, very professional from the outside yet abusive and controlling. After him, I had a few dates but ended up seeing someone who was more artsy, very unattractive, free spirited. I felt so much more alive with the latter and have tended to go for similar types afterwards.

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