Living together during Lockdown - thought it might continue

How long ago did his wife pass?

I would be very hurt by this, as I would've seen it as an opportunity to find out if we were compatible living together. I'd go home OP, I think 2 years is enough time for commitment.

I have just found this in a current thread. It could be wrong, but tbf seems to make a bit of sense (43 isn’t old, I’m starting again and I have a few years on you )
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOXom_-iCHM

Sorry but if he's said he doesn't want to marry and you do, you're on different pages. It's not because he doesn't like/love you, but you have mismatched expectations. Don't wait around for him to change, it will only build the resentment. And he won't change. Find someone worthy of you! Before you do, write down a list of non negotiables and stick to them. Good luck!

Absolutely pack up and go home immediately. He has either used you deliberately or been horrible inconsiderate. Either way you should be asking yourself if HE is good enough for YOU to consider marrying. The dynamic shouldn’t be you trying to make him think you’re good enough to live with or marry. Raise your expectations and look at it the other way. Why are you not furious and thinking badly of him? It works both ways.

Sorry but it sounds horribly like you were good enough to move in and be his childcare and make his life easier during lockdown but he has no intention or motivation for the arrangement to continue once he doesn’t need you. Leave him to it and find someone who wants you for you, not for what you can do for him. It’s horrible and hurtful but cut your losses.

I think after 2 years together and you living with him for the past 5 months, it is not unreasonable to anticipate a level of commitment.
Forget about him for a minute, how about you? Do you want to be with him long term, what is your gut telling you?

It sounds like you were auditioning for the role of wife during lockdown, but he saw it as temporary.

Lockdown is a crazy time of itself, perhaps other big changes he just hasn't got the headspace for right now.

I would go home for a bit, let him miss you, see how things are. Don't stress as I say it's a strange time.

OP do you think he asked you to move in to look after his daughter? What was the alternative if he had to work and she was off school? I'm surprised that you've reached two years and never before discussed marriage, it's normally something people talk about quite early on. His feelings seem very clear and it looks like you've been used.

You were a nice companion/housekeeper/cook/nanny during lockdown, now he wants to go back to the weekend arrangement. I think you playing wifey with such dedication may have scared him a little. He's not ready.

Well I'm not surprised about not wanting to marry. I would assume he wants the inheritance for his kids if he died unexpectedly.