A friend recently informed me my ex has been diagnosed with high-functioning autism/asperger's. Finally everything makes sense!
last year I broke up with my him because I thought he was emotionally manipulative and abusive. My friends convinced me he was a narcissist because he lacked empathy he always made me feel bad for being emotional. when I wanted to have a heart to heart he would just be uncomfortable and close up. he only ever wanted to solve our issues if it was based on rationale.
But his diagnosis explains everything! The narcissist description didn't entirely fit. Yes, he lacked empathy and came across as insensitive but I now don't think it was malicious, he just didn't understand. Looking back, his actions were not controlling or manipulative. He was always very one-dimensional and thrived on structure and familiarity (whereas narcissists would normally flip into different modes and thrive on chaos). He was completely stable but had super high intelligence, but low emotional intelligence.
I now feel so so guilty for being so convinced he was a narcissist and for accusing him of such. If I'd have known of his condition I may have thought about his actions differently and not took everything so personally.
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found out my ex has aspergers
7 replies
jinniefromtheblock · 11/07/2020 12:55
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