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Has anyone else been in this situation

(3 Posts)
Babypiggy Fri 03-Jul-20 10:20:12

Posting here as really need some perspective pls? - long story short- divorced. ExH has moved on and within a relatively Short period time (19months) has had a baby with new gfriend. We have a 7year old DS together. Sometimes my DS says he misses his brother when he is at mine (usually at night time when he is tired - his sibling is now 7mo ths old). I feel like Im just not offering what his dad can with a family set up with his new GF and baby for my DS to play with. We shared childcare 50/50 which i know is good for my son. Sorry i just feel like a real failure. Anyone else been here?

OP’s posts: |
RLEOM Fri 03-Jul-20 10:40:39

I understand. Please don't feel like a failure. You're still his mum and he'll always love you.

I feel the same with my ex. Our nearly 2 year old loves the bones off him, never wants to come to me when he's around (he's a Disney dad) because we do the mundane stuff whereas daddy does all the fun stuff. I recently asked if he'd have her full time as I felt so rejected. He also has a large family with nieces and nephews she can play with. I have nobody other than my dad. However, she loves me and needs me because I'm her mum, and so does your son.

PinkMonkeyBird Fri 03-Jul-20 10:42:58

You haven't failed at all. Your DS has valid feelings missing his new siblings, but don't let that make you feel he 'prefers' the other household to being with you. I went through similar with my DC as my ex-H had a child within a very short period of time after we split. We kept things amicable, but our set up was 70/30 with me as the resident parent. It's important not to let any of your insecurities be known to your DS. I would just acknowledge he misses his sibling, reassure him he will see him soon and carry on with things as you are. You are still his mum and he loves you. If he sees you have a positive relationship with his father's new family, it will honestly pay dividends in the future.

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