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Husband cheating again

(17 Posts)
ElsieWormstinker Tue 30-Jun-20 16:29:22

Found out a few days ago my husband has been cheating...again. I first found out a few years ago abd he begged and swore he'd never do it again and that he has so much to lose. We have three children. Anyway, someone else caught him out this time and told me. He tried to deny it but gave up as I knew he was. I feel like he has ruined my life. I have given him so many chances, there's been porn and facebook sexting and so much shit over the years too. I've started taking anti depressants as when i found out the first time I became quite depressed. The cheating is really awful too in that he meets women for sex from sites online like craigslist. He videos them or did in the past (i found his secret laptop with them all on). Seeing this written down is really bringing it hone to me what a cunt he is. Ironically he was my best friend! He made me feel I could anything, well I have now, I asked him to move out and he has. Where I go from here I just don't know. The betrayal is immense. Im not shocked as I went through hell last time, Im just fucking sad and our poor lovely kids keep asking me what daddy did.

OP’s posts: |
763freedom Tue 30-Jun-20 16:31:00

Didn't want to read and run, you deserve so much more. Sending flowers and a big hug flowers

Rainandspirit Tue 30-Jun-20 17:31:37

Big Hugs. and well done you for kicking him out. How old are your kids ?? Stay strong and dont let him back in. He had his chances and he blow them. Dont forget to look after yourself. Eat even if it is something small. You will be happier without him xxxx

Bloops Tue 30-Jun-20 17:45:17

Let this be the last time he betrays you like that. He is a massive arsehole. Onwards and upwards.

DuaLipa95 Tue 30-Jun-20 17:47:50


EveleftEden Tue 30-Jun-20 17:48:31

Where do you go from here?

Well you keep getting out of bed every morning and living. You are to be glad he is gone and you are well rid. Start divorce proceedings.

How old are you children?

Bralessandfree Tue 30-Jun-20 18:06:28

I de-activated my account as I felt guilty for writing about him! How screwed up is my head?? So my new name is this.

My kids are 4, 8 and 9. They are dealing with it well because apart from my occasional tears I am trying to keep things as normal as possible. I just say I have hayfever. The older two do ask what was it he did because we said he did something not very nice and broke my trust. It's really hard to know what to say because there are so many words they don't understand and there's no way they could know the truth that would be so damaging.

Anothernick Tue 30-Jun-20 19:25:25

I suggest that you tell the kids that daddy doesn't love mummy any more and he loves somebody else. That is kind of close to the truth and will prepare them for finding out more detail, which they inevitably will at some point. Kids are very perceptive, I doubt if the older two believe that you have hay fever and I have no doubt they will have speculated to each other about what is really going on.

Bralessandfree Tue 30-Jun-20 19:55:42

Yep I'm sure you are right. The only thing is detail leads to more questions and who is the other person he loves that's not mummy? I was worried they'd think he would not love them anymore if he said he has stopped loving their mummy?

Anothernick Tue 30-Jun-20 21:10:55

Difficult though it may be for you to say it I think you should tell them he still loves them, I guess that's probably true and if it isn't then it would be better to let them find that out for themselves. And as to the identity of the OW you could say you don't know or if you think they already know anyway then you could confirm it for them.

Dollyrocket Tue 30-Jun-20 23:19:04

You’re right OP, he’s an unforgivable cunt and at least you’ve put an end to any more wasted years of your life. Time to be you again x

Bralessandfree Wed 01-Jul-20 08:52:08

Thank you - I really needed to hear these replies. X

stoptheride Wed 01-Jul-20 09:06:01

Bless you, I can imagine this is hit you like a bus all over again. You forgave him last time and he's done it all over again. For your own sanity let this be the end for you both. I know it's hard but 6 months from now you will be so much better for it. Hugs xx

Jackeroosmum Wed 01-Jul-20 17:03:38

Sounds like we have the same (ex)husband! So sorry OP. It's so incredibly painful, especially as you have forgiven before.
Feel free to PM me if you like. Children of similar ages and my husband also cheated more than once and used to do all sorts of online sexting and video calls etc. Makes me feel physically sick thinking about what he did to me. Bastards!

Bralessandfree Wed 01-Jul-20 21:51:42

Thank you, as much as I wouldn't wish this on anyone, it feels better knowing I'm not alone in this. X

longhaulstress Thu 02-Jul-20 08:14:23

I'm 4 months on from being in the exact same situation op as in xh having a second affair (I also have 3 kids). It's so unbelievably shit that I wouldn't wish how you feel on my worst enemy. There is just such horrible pain isn't there.
I can tell you that 4 months on it is definitely getting better. I'm still having bad days but hang on in there.

Do you have supportive friends and family? Talk to them if you can, I've also booked some counselling in for myself as well.
What's helped me a lot is getting out for walks. The fresh air has helped me sleep (and I took nytol a couple of times a week to help me have a proper sleep when I was having a bad day).
Sending you lots of hugs, it's an awful time but I promise you, you deserve so so much more than this.

Alfiemoon1 Thu 02-Jul-20 08:38:41

So sorry you are going through this again op look after yourself

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