Hi,
I’m posting here because I don’t really know where to turn. I’ve been with my husband for 15 years and married for 8 years. We’ve had a rocky marriage over the last few years but over the past year it’s got worse. I find he deflects a lot and can generally be unkind at times, for example, I recently attended my Nan’s funeral and because I didn’t have time to get anything to wear over the past week, looking after children (who are currently off school) and husband working full time, I didn’t have time to get an outfit to wear and he said I was very unorganised and that it was my fault i didn’t have anything to wear and said I knew my Nan was going to die, so should have got something sooner, unfortunately I’ve found nothing since internet shopping due to most things being out of stock but settled with what I had in my wardrobe, I told him to stop because what he said was unkind, he then brought it up again just before going to my Nan’s funeral and upset me further. A few weeks ago he also said to me he couldn’t wait for my cat to pass away because she suffers with incontinence and she sometimes poos in inappropriate places, this too upset me. I told him that these things were unkind and upset me and he instantly deflected and tried to turn things around on me and when I said he was deflecting, he accused me of being childish, he tried telling me that I was always unorganised because dinner is often later than normal due to home schooling etc and didn’t acknowledge the fact I said I was hurt by what he said to me. I feel very hurt and can’t see a way out of this and can’t continue my life the way things are. There are other things but there’s too much to explain. In his eyes, I feel I can never do right....I need to be free from that!
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Relationships
Husband’s Deflecting and Unkindness
LollylolaPops8866 · 28/06/2020 16:21
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