Excuse the long thread title.
Just that really. I hadn't heard of a boundary in an interpersonal context much until I came onto Mumsnet. I don't think people used to use the term so much in general when I used to read self help books and stuff 20-25 years ago.
I had only really heard of the related concept of assertiveness. I know this is perhaps only half of boundaries or something. For me it's really about assertiveness anyway, in as much as I mostly know what my boundaries are/ when I'm not happy with something, I just find it hard to say anything about it to the person in the moment, it's like I'm struck dumb.
Messenger and stuff make it easier for me to voice that I'm not happy with something- my ex used to try and insist on talking face to face and I know some people think it 'should' be like that, but I would hardly ever succeed in saying what I need to say in person, and the other person would always dominate me (which is probably part of why he insisted on communicating that way.) If someone tried to stop me communicating in a manner in which I am able to in future, I'll just say 'I'm happy this way, thanks.' If they're not happy with it then it's their choice and they can clear off.
I suppose if someone has really crossed a line/boundary when I saw them, I could get home, say my piece, and probably block- or just block, which I did with my ex in the end.
-
So, are you good at assertiveness and what are your tips and tricks to achieve it?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I didn't know what a boundary was (as a term.) Are you good at assertiveness and how do you personally do it?
3 replies
NoMoreDickheads · 26/06/2020 16:24
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.