Here goes.. late 30s, been with DW for over ten years and married 7. As some background, I've become increasingly unhappy with my relationship and finally broke and sought therapy. I feel I'm making progress - as you may guess as a man who came from a background where you just bottled everything up and didnt address issues or feelings. Looking back at our relationship, we both just trundled long with no real deep intimate connection and because we got on ok, had similar backgrounds and desires then it seemed to work. The marriage has been sexless (once a year) for a long time. We've never discussed kids or whether we should have them. We don't. (I know.. please don't shout at me)
Fast forward to now and I'm not in a great place. I yearn for closeness, passion and something deeper. The problem is im struggling to break down the barrier because im not naturally good at it (I've spent years bottling it in) and secondly I have a lot of resentment. The resentment is two fold. Firstly it feels like I am having to do everything to work on the relationship. I am the one trying to talk, I'm the one organising couples counselling etc. I understand that I'm the one that wants change... so im also happy to be told by everyone that I need to step up and take the responsibility here. Secondly though, I feel I do more of my share in the relationship.. We have business interests that I manage, I do most of the cooking, a lot of the washing and also a lot of DIY as the house is being renovated. She is happier seeing friends or out.
In therapy we discuss that I need put more emotion into the relationship.. that it cant be just about practical elements. But I'm finding it so hard to fight the resentment.
Any help would be appreciated
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Relationships
Feeling lost trying to resolve issues
4 replies
Pickle48 · 22/06/2020 18:43
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