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Am I being unreasonable?

(9 Posts)
Andy85 Sat 13-Jun-20 12:20:44

My gf asked me how I felt about her going to a party. She has 3 children with her ex. The party is a family get together for someone in his family. She still gets on with them which I am fine with, but going to a party where him and all his family will be there. I appreciate that she asked me how I felt first. But I still think this is inappropriate. What do you think?

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Sat 13-Jun-20 12:24:58

What is the party for? Just because her ex will be there, why does that make it inappropriate? They have 3 children together so will obviously remain in each other's lives. It's not as though they're going on holiday together.

Bunnymumy Sat 13-Jun-20 12:30:23

She has 3 kids with him so is still part of his family.

Things would maybe be different if he was nasty or if there was still some romantic feelings between them. But otherwise it is perfectly acceptable for her to want to go (Especially if her kids are going?)

Andy85 Sat 13-Jun-20 12:30:52

It's a birthday for someone in his family. It's not like it's a random party and he will happen to be there. It is a family party for just his whole family. I am absolutely fine with the fact that he will always be in her life, they have 3 kids that's a given. But to be at his family events to me is just weird and inappropriate.

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Sat 13-Jun-20 12:37:47

You're being ridiculous. If you are really this insecure, do her a massive favour and end the relationship now. Her having 3 children with her ex and still being friendly with his family, her children's family, is not going to change. Maintaining a cordial relationship with your children's family is not "inappropriate", you are just jealous.

wantmorenow Sat 13-Jun-20 12:40:48

Yes you are being unreasonable. She's taking her children to an event in their family. She is helping her kids maintain a close relationship with their family and maybe she is still fond of some of their extended family (her former family). Sounds like she is a great Mum.

Bunnymumy Sat 13-Jun-20 12:46:44

Sorry op but you are being unfair.

If she were meeting him alone in his house for no reason then I could see that as inappropriate. But.. it's a party with her children's family.

Of course,you could go too. Provided you are close enough. I mean if you've been together for more than a year say...I would maybe expect her to invite you along. Unless she cant trust you to behave yourself.

Tropical2 Sat 13-Jun-20 12:50:29

My DP has a child from a previous relationship and gets invited to events involving DSD's family all the time. I get invited too as DP's partner but I always decline, DP's "other family" as I like to call them are nothing to do with me but I don't object to him going.

How long have you been with your gf? Could you not go with her in the role of her current bf?

Unfortunately your gf's ex and his family are going to be in her life a lot until the kids have grown up and left home, then their contact will be less.

If you feel this is going to be too much for you to deal with, I would seriously consider getting out now and finding someone else that doesn't have kids. Nobody would blame you if you did. Taking on somebody else's kids and an ex family can be hard at times.

NoMoreDickheads Sat 13-Jun-20 12:50:44

I don't see anything wrong with her going. Her kids are part of their family (as is she really by association) and she knows the person who's birthday party it is.

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