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Am I being unreasonable?

(16 Posts)
CG4321 Wed 10-Jun-20 20:56:58

Me and my partner have been together for 3 years. He was previously in a relationship for 10 years and has a child. While going through belongings at our house he found a photograph of him and her and their child, he immediately took the photo and kept it. I may just be young an naive for being insecure about this but is this normal? And am I being unreasonable for wanting him to get rid of it?

OP’s posts: |
Ughmaybenot Wed 10-Jun-20 20:58:36

You’re being unreasonable. He had a life before you and he has a child, that was his family and she will always be the mother of his child.

BadgersAreReal Wed 10-Jun-20 21:00:21

You're definitely being unreasonable.

You can't expect him to erase his history. It's important for his child that those photos aren't destroyed. She is their mother.

jbee1979 Wed 10-Jun-20 21:01:58


CrazyDaysAndMondays10 Wed 10-Jun-20 21:03:30

Sorry , could you explain this more . He found a photo at your house and he kept it... Was he not keeping it when it was in your house? Do you live together?

Do you mean he put it in a wallet or something similar?

KylieKoKo Wed 10-Jun-20 21:04:47

Yes yabu. I think you'd have more to worry about if he found the photo so difficult to look at that he was moved to destroy it to be honest.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas Wed 10-Jun-20 21:07:09

I cannot care less about my exh but I have not binned all his photos, if DS is in the photo, I am keeping for DS also for DS to see that despite his dad’s lies, he was born into what was once a loving family

GazingAndGrazing Wed 10-Jun-20 21:08:04

Photos are proof of history and a time before now, he has a right to keep hold of these things to show his DC and remember times that were happy before they went wrong.

Unless he has framed it and put it above the TV YABU

CrazyDaysAndMondays10 Wed 10-Jun-20 21:13:02

Anyway , yabu to want him to get rid of it . I think maybe you have low self esteem to be worried about this photo . He had a relationship and a child before he met you and you can't do anything about that , it is a part of his history and very much part of his life.

He is with you just now and I think you should look at ways of improving your self esteem and confidence.

(The reason I was asking about the wallet is because I wouldn't want my partner to carry about a picture if his ex with him all the time but I realise that probably isn't the case )

VettiyaIruken Wed 10-Jun-20 21:15:39

Yes, you are.
She is the mother of his child.
She deserves more than to be erased. It's good that he has a photo of their family unit. Their child will likely enjoy them.

If you want someone with no ties to previous relationships, avoid men with children.

majesticallyawkward Wed 10-Jun-20 21:15:42

Very unreasonable, you can't ask him to erase his past. You knew he'd had this relationship and child when you chose to have a relationship with him, you need to accept his child, and by extension his next, are part of his life.

assumimg he's just keeping the photo and not plastering photos of his ex around your (and his?) home.

whitevino Wed 10-Jun-20 21:17:51

It's not a photo of just him and her. His child is there hmm I keep all photos of DC regardless of who else is in them it's memories of my child.

feliciabirthgiver Wed 10-Jun-20 21:18:15


category12 Wed 10-Jun-20 21:25:26

What's wrong with you?

Andwoooshtheyweregone Wed 10-Jun-20 21:28:11


louise5754 Wed 10-Jun-20 21:28:29

Dump him. Get someone else with no kids or an ex.

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