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I’m pregnant he’s talking to another woman

(12 Posts)
sweetpot Thu 04-Jun-20 19:54:45

I’m 20 weeks pregnant and my partner of 3 years started being very protective over his phone so I snooped and found out he’s been calling and messaging another woman. He’s deleting the messages so I can’t see what he’s talking about but she’s in his recent contacts on what’s app saved under a mans names (I can see their profile picture she’s not a man) and I can see from his call log they’ve been calling each other.

Just before I found out I was pregnant he had done the same thing. I only took him back because I was pregnant. I was told I would never be able to conceive children naturally so having an abortion was never an option for me. I’ve had a terrible pregnancy so far I’ve been bed ridden with HG and we haven’t been intimate since I’ve been pregnant so that’s obviously why he’s looking elsewhere. He acts like the doting partner and has been doing a lot for me lately all whilst talking to another woman behind my back.

I haven’t even told him what I’ve found because although I hate to admit it I need him right now. I can’t function because of the sickness I need someone to help with the bills, shopping, cooking, cleaning etc but I just want him away from me! I can’t stand sleeping in the same bed as him knowing what I know and can’t tell him to leave because I wouldn't manage on my own right now. My job is also on the line now and the stress and worry is just getting on top of me.

I’m panning to stay with him until the baby is born then tell him it’s over and somehow try to have a healthy co parent relationship with him.

I was wasn't pregnant he would be long gone! Am I crazy for not saying anything now?

OP’s posts: |
Crystalspider Thu 04-Jun-20 20:00:11

I don't know how you can keep it together, what a creep!
personally i'd want him out like now!
Have you any support from family and friends around you?

Interestedwoman Thu 04-Jun-20 20:17:13

we haven’t been intimate since I’ve been pregnant so that’s obviously why he’s looking elsewhere.

No. He did it before and you weren't preg then.

Could a friend or family member help you out with a few chores etc now so you can boot him out or go and stay with someone else? It's acceptable under lockdown rules as you need caring for.

Menora Thu 04-Jun-20 20:21:18

You still have 4 months to go and then the new baby period, will you really be able to stay this long and be this unhappy? Have you got any other support at all?

Bunnymumy Thu 04-Jun-20 20:35:55

I hate to say it but it would be easier to end it before baby. Otherwise the baby hormones and stress will likely make you want to keep him.

I'd kick him out asap and if possible message that other girl first and tell her he was in a committed relationship with a baby on the way.

FreeKitties Thu 04-Jun-20 20:40:01

I agree with the PP, it will be a lot easier to kick him out now before baby gets here.

He isn’t cheating on you because you are pregnant, he is cheating on you because he doesn’t respect or love you and he is a selfish turd of a man with no morals.

carly2803 Thu 04-Jun-20 22:02:03

speaking from experience - ditch him before the baby gets here

You will cope. Much easier in fact,than living with a cheating scumbag

carly2803 Thu 04-Jun-20 22:02:04

speaking from experience - ditch him before the baby gets here

You will cope. Much easier in fact,than living with a cheating scumbag

RantyAnty Thu 04-Jun-20 22:22:52

Itd be better to end it now. The stress of knowing what hes doing and trying to stay with him will probably make you feel worse.

How is your HG being treated?

Taetoes Fri 05-Jun-20 14:43:54

I was 6 months gone when my ex first did this to me with our 1st child, he begged, he pleaded, I made him tell his mum what he did.. 11 years later and another baby, he did the same thing 3 more times ending in having a physical relationship for a year behind my back. He doesn't respect you or love you to do this at your most vulnerable, I sorely regret giving my prick of an ex another chance, my confidence and self esteem are in tatters after years of thinking I was not enough.
You are stronger than you think honey, even more so when you become a mum. start getting yourself some support from family, friends, single parent support groups, here is good too! I'm so sorry this is happening to you, I know you are scared and hurt.. this is not your fault but you can do this flowers

Sunflowersok Fri 05-Jun-20 17:40:10

I had this with my DDs father.

Messaging girls on nights out when I was 8 months pregnant.

Messaging another girl when DD was a few week old saying he’ll kick me out and she can move in.

Broke up with him when DD was 18 months old after him begging me to stay for months and then he goes and moves a girl in to our home almost immediately - a girl I questioned him about a year before.

He will never, ever change. You do not need a man like that in your life, you need someone supportive. Or you need to do this as a single person. He will ruin your self esteem and take your dignity with it. It’s always the better option than putting up with that crap.

TorkTorkBam Fri 05-Jun-20 17:42:12

Why would it be easier after the baby is born?

Nothing is easier after the baby is born btw. Nothing.

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