I need a divorce - what do you think?

[Smillar2020]

I’m divorcing my H because he has an alcohol abuse problem. Aside from that (huge) issue he is also a disrespectful, useless, selfish good for nothing. I’m not being bitter - I have examples to prove all of the above. We have a young baby together. H has been out of the house for three months now. I am starting divorce proceedings and worried he will demand half of everything. He broke our family and our home. We are equal earners and contribute the same to the household bills but I’ve paid for almost everything in the house - furniture, decor, you name it. My parents gifted us the deposit when we bought the house. Is he going to get 50% of everything??? Breaks my heart to think so. I invested everything in our family home while he went out treating himself to brand new motorbikes without discussing with me for example.

[TirisfalPumpkin]

You need legal advice. 50:50 is the starting point, but there’s a lot more to it - needs of/housing for your child, length of the marriage, etc. It is not an automatic half and half split as that would be horrendously unfair, particularly to women who may have given up or stepped back from their career to raise the children and impacted their future earning potential. The bikes might be classed as a marital asset too ;)

Good luck with it, he sounds like a shit.

[welshladywhois40]

Hi, you need to get some legal advice. Most solicitors do a free 30 min session first to understand your case and you can have these questions prepared in advance.

I divorced my alcoholic ex husband and I felt overwhelmingly I should be treated better financially as his drinking had caused our debt and marriage break down but financial settlements don't work that way. We didn't have kids and as he couldn't work due to his drinking he was threatening to sue me for maintenance. So we mutually agreed a split of assets heavily weighted to him so he would drop the maintenance claims.

Your case should be different as there is a child but the more you can both agree with court and legal a etc the better

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1]

Have you had a discussion with him about what he feels is a fair split? That could be your starting point.

[Smillar2020]

I have contacted my lawyer for advice. Hopefully they will be able to help. My H doesn’t speak to me. He comes round once a week to see our baby for about an hour. We’re not uncivil but we don’t make an effort to engage (I don’t like being like this and did start off being friendly, offering him to stay for dinner but he refused every time. I feel the olive branches are used up now). The door is open for him to visit his child, I have never put barriers up. It’s not enough in my view and hopefully a lawyer would agree!