I have not spoken to one of my closest friends for a few months now. The problems began when i moved around 200 miles away (already lived about 50 miles away). She came to visit with her 2 ds's who were 3.5yrs and 8mths at the time. I have dd 2.2yrs and ds 6mths.
They stayed for 5 days in my 3 bed house, and tbh it was a nightmare. My dd had was unwell and spent the entire time being totally freaked out by friend's eldest ds. My ds was also very clingy and 'scared' of other children being around. This led to a bit of a strained atmos as you can imagine.
Now - my dh does not cope well in 'hyper' situations, and was a bit stressed by it all after a couple of days.(Friend is a v.loud person aswell). One night he was trying to feed ds and there was a lot of noise going on, so he slammed dining room door shut and was generally in a bit of a huff. My friend had an early night and was going home the following day. Everyone said 'goodbyes' etc and that was that.
Friend rings me the next week, and basically starts 'slaaging off' dh. "How on earth do you put up with that? I didn't know he was so moody" etc. I told her not to take it personally, but was a bit cheesed and embarassed. Me and dh had a bit of a tiff about it, as he thought she had a cheek considering he cooked for them, gave up his bed etc...
Friend and i had a couple more tel conversations (usual chat) in the following wks. Then i found out she'd had a first birthday party for her ds and hadn't even mentioned it, let alone invited us!
I texted her saying "Did ds have a nice b'day? Hope everyone's o.k" just chit-chat.
She replied saying "Yes great thanks, shame you couldn't come as you were in the area. But your dh the misery, prob couldn't stand it.He wasn't nice to us when we came to visit, and this has driven a wedge between us. Sorry this is how things have turned out."
I was really upset and never replied. She sent email asking 'how we were' on ds's birthday, and now she has sent me a message saying she misses our chats and thinks about us a lot.
On one hand, I am still v.angry and feel that I don't need her friendship. On the other hand, we have known each other for a v.long time and been through a lot together. .
Thanks if you read this essay!!!
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Should I reply? Opinions please! (long)
9 replies
milkymill · 21/09/2007 12:28
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