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Men and housework?

(23 Posts)
Bloops Sat 30-May-20 00:42:44

Calling all women living with men!

Do you split the housework 50/50 or do you feel like you do more tidying/cleaning?
Does your partner do chores without you asking him to? If so, what are they?

OP’s posts: |
Perisoire Sat 30-May-20 01:08:21

The only things he does without being told are cleaning the loo / bathroom every weekend and taking out recycling and rubbish. And mowing lawn.

When I start cleaning, he will do half but has to be told (so I hoover, he mops).

There are things he either Turner doesn’t notice or pretends not to notice like dusty surfaces, cobwebs, crumbs on counter / dining table. Post piling up in corner.

I’ve concluded that he thinks these things my responsibility and he’s just helping me. I still make him to half but massively resent having to tell him.

CorianderLord Sat 30-May-20 01:09:12

We do different tasks. He does all laundry, I do 90% cooking, he does top rack of dishwasher I do bottom. every weekend we blitz rooms together

CorianderLord Sat 30-May-20 01:10:00

He does bins and tidying without asking and I do bathroom/sides

maddy68 Sat 30-May-20 01:19:28

My husband does 90%,I do 10%, I hate it. He likes it

Weenurse Sat 30-May-20 01:26:38

We do big clean together on weekends.
During the week, cooking shared but I do more cleaning/ tidying.
I do washing, he does lawns.
DC’s do their end of the house , own washing and take turns to cook

BitOfFun Sat 30-May-20 01:33:47

My husband does all of it, pretty much, since I got cancer. Even before that though, he did all the cooking and washing up, bins out, loads of DIY (and it's been a LOT). I did mostly the laundry and hoovering, looking after my disabled younger child (oh, and the dog!). Both DDs have left home now, so there's no more childcare to be done. Husband has been an absolute rock.

TimeWastingButFun Sat 30-May-20 01:34:15

We split it, although I tend to do all the cooking and he tends to do all the diy, and he does all the ironing. We share whatever else needs doing.

TheLashKingOfScotland Sat 30-May-20 01:40:37

He does laundry, DIY, hoovering, putting the bins out. I do cooking, shopping, tidying. We both stack and unstack the dishwasher. I don't ask him to do chores. He just does them.

LizzieLoafer Sat 30-May-20 01:42:50


My husband does 90%,I do 10%, I hate it. He likes it

About the same here. I cook though.

StormBaby Sat 30-May-20 01:52:26

We always shared it, then he had an accident which meant he could no longer work so started to do more while I worked extra. During lockdown he's stopped doing any of it and just did fun projects instead. I cooked every single lunch and dinner for 8 weeks, and washed up every single time, and I am now so over it. I'm now un-furloughed so he needs to wake up!

FooFooFalangee Sat 30-May-20 09:07:00

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Epigram Sat 30-May-20 09:13:37

I work part time and he works full time, so it's reasonable that I do more. He's not lazy at all and does loads of jobs around the house, but he's more likely to be mowing the lawn or doing DIY while I do the cooking, laundry etc. I'm a feminist in most ways but not in the division of household tasks blush

user1487194234 Sat 30-May-20 09:56:45

Equal share here
I do more housework He does more shopping/cooking
I do more paperwork He does more gardening
Can't imagine any other way

Bloops Sat 30-May-20 10:03:59

Thanks for the details ladies. Mine will put the bins out every week (only after I've actually put the rubbish into the black sacks first!) Cleans the toilet occasionally and will maybe wash up the odd cup or plate. Sometimes he will even help me to unload the washing machine if he's feeling really generous! He will turn a blind eye to everything else. Never picked up a duster, will only get the hoover out unless he's made a huge mess.
I'm furloughed at the moment whilst hes still working so naturally I will be tidying more which is fine, it passes the time.. but it got me thinking to when I was working full time, it has always been the same.
I've nagged in the past but I didnt want to become "that" person so I've accepted I just take more pride in our belongings than him.

OP’s posts: |
Thingsdogetbetter Sat 30-May-20 10:05:23

Before lockdown he shopped and cooked (always from scratch cos he enjoys it, convenience food does not enter our home. Lol). I did laundry, tidying up and washing up. Cleaner came every fortnight for proper cleaning - at my insistence when I moved it! Had enough resentment and arguments with previous partners not to take on all domestic chores ever again.

Since lockdown he's worked for about half the time, I'm working full time from home. No cleaner obviously. He shops for us and his parents, cooks and washes up. I do everything else as an agreed barter for having shelving units made (from scratch), walls painted and breakfast in bed every morning.

Murraygoldberg Sat 30-May-20 10:11:12

We do weekly clean together, I do most shopping, cooking and laundry, he does bins, garden,diy and dishes. I iron mine and ds, he irons his own. I used to do most cleaning and told him it was unfair. So we split rooms and do at same time this has worked well

Tigersneeze Sat 30-May-20 10:19:17

Do you split the housework 50/50
50/50 - we each do our own laundry, I cook he cleans the kitchen.

or do you feel like you do more tidying/cleaning?
no its equal

Does your partner do chores without you asking him to?
yes of course its his house too

Bloops Sat 30-May-20 10:44:58

@Murraygoldberg that's a good idea!

OP’s posts: |
BammBamm Sat 30-May-20 11:04:26

We have our own roles but he does need encouragement grin mind you, so do I sometimes!
He does the cooking, dishwasher and bins.
I do the washing, bathrooms and most of the tidying. I do all of the life admin too.
Other jobs are shared.

Rosebel Sat 30-May-20 11:26:08

My husband does the shopping at the moment as I'm pregnant but I have to write a list. He does occasionally wash up and puts the bins out.
My husband will vacuum once a year, after he's removed the Christmas tree.

SnuggyBuggy Sat 30-May-20 11:27:27

We do but it's more because I'm a bit of a slattern. I tend to do most of the mental load I think but practically DH is probably better than me.

Dillo10 Sun 31-May-20 20:08:15

He takes the bins out
He helps tidy up after meals, loads/empties the dishwasher etc
Does laundry sometimes
He cooks at the weekend, I cook during the week

In terms of cleaning toilets, hoovering, dusting etc he doesn't really do anything - it's all me

But he does the gardening, DIY jobs around the house etc

He works FT and I work 3/4 days a week (self employed) so I feel like it's a fair split

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