Anon here as this cud be outing.
I've been having online counslling sessions since me and my X split 8 weeks ago. A few things have come up about the r'ship that i worried about at the time.
-my x used to earn a lot more than me. like 5x more. he used to put all payments (meals, holidays etc) on his ccard and ask me for the money at the end of each month- bit like a tab. Said he did this with his XW. I mentioned a few times that this made it hard for me to budget as I cudn't keep track of what we was spending and could he stop. Things didn't change. i asked or a breakdwn of costs at one point and i think he did this mybe... 2 times?
-our lease was up on one flat we lived in. he chose a diffrnt flat after we had been to view 2 and said yes to the one i didn't like. Turns out he didn't like the one i did so said yes to the other! His name was on the tenancy/told me it was only for a year but this really hurt me as i didnt choose it.
-when we met i had come back to the uk after a year travelling. so I had none of my own stuff. we moved in really quickly (his suggestion) after 3 mnths so none of the furniture etc in the flat was mine. after a year+ together, i realised he didn't like me having my own stuff. Criticised me getting a letter holder for e.g., didn't understand y i wanted a calendar in the kitchen, wouldn't let me cook meals for both of us- is this controlling to u?
-lastly. one of the things that botehred me was that he was active on social media but never referred to me/befriended me on it until a few months before we split!. again, i thought this was to protext his XW's feelings. during our 2 years together he wasn't interested in making mutual friends (we had just 1) despite me being really bubbly and outgoing. He met several of my friends during that time & seemd to get on with them.
obviously not everything was terrible. he was massively generous with gifts, could be really caring and loving etc. Just confused.
Do these sound controlling to you? Or do i have really bad boundaries?
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Was this odd- or was i too soft?
7 replies
anonnnnni · 22/05/2020 19:46
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