Hi,
Can you tell me if you would consider these things are normal in a relationship? My husband says I am touchy and oversensitive and I just need an outside opinion on these incidents please.
DH didn't get me anything for my birthday and when he told me the night before that he had been too busy to get me a present, he immediately blamed it on me for being too hard to buy for in quite a scathing way. This isn't true and I would have been happy with a card and a box of chocolates.
The other night he was going on about how his achievements at work have been "phenomenal" and I said something sarcastic like "yes, you're obviously better than me". This is because I was annoyed because I have facilitated his career for the last 14 years - we have 2 children with additional needs, he travels a lot and works long hours. He then told me in a patronising tone that my response was not normal and my feelings are generally more extreme than everybody else and that my emotional reactions are really unusual.
One Christmas Day he drove with us all in the car at 100kmh in a 60kmh road work zone on a country highway. I was scared because this road (which I am more familiar with than he is because it is on the way to my parents' house) often has large potholes due to rain. He refused to slow down to 60. After I insisted, he slowed to about 85. I didn't want to have a screaming row in front of the kids on Christmas, they were about 6 and 3 and I thought they would be upset so I didn't keep arguing. When I tried to discuss this incident with him later, he said it was my fault because I said it wasn't safe, when I should have said I wanted him to slow down because I was scared.
He was trying to multitask in the kitchen on Christmas Eve and asking DS aged about 6 or 7 to move. DS ignored him, so he grabbed the hood of his hoodie and jerked him back roughly. DS cried that he had hurt his neck. DH told DS it was his fault for not listening. DS came to me upset and said "I think that counts as child abuse, don't you?" and I smoothed it over by making DH apologise to him because again I didn't want Christmas ruined but I was gutted inside.
Thanks for reading all this, I just want to know what you think about it all please.
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Need an outside perspective please
19 replies
NeedSomeAdvicePlease123 · 08/05/2020 14:20
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