Since I got pregnant I've been telling my baby's dad he needs to get his temper under control. He flies off that handle shouting and sometimes being threatening, particularly with me and his mum but not his friends. I told him he needs to change to be part of his babies life, stop shouting, get counceling, take meds, whatever it takes. He spent months sending me abusive emails and blaming me for the way he is blah blah blah. He also lied about going for counceling. He then started meds from the doctor and he said he had changed. I missed him(wtf I know) and we started meeting up for a walk now and again. Then a couple of weeks ago he had a physical fight with his dad and came to my house to escape. I didn't really want him here. He was in my space and I'm heavily pregnant. I kept making suggestions about him going home or finding somewhere else to stay. We weren't getting along very well at all and he was only here 2 nights from Sat to Mon morning. On Mon morning he blew up at me shouting at me. I called the police and they took him back to his own house.
He's since messaged me a few times and I've not replied, he's also messaged my mum. He knows I'm due to have my c section soon and he wants to be at the birth. I've said no. I don't want anything to do with him. I don't feel my baby would be in a good environment with him around. But he desperately wants to be a dad and it's tearing me up because my feelings are so conflicted. I don't want him shouting in front of the baby and for that reason I want to stop all contact. He desperately wants to be a dad so I feel I have to give him a chance. And 3rdly what if my baby grows up without his dad then at some point wants to see him and his dad pulls the wools over his eyes and makes him think he is this cool person and I've stopped them having a relationship. I also feel bad that my baby would miss a relationship with loving grandparents on his side but they are his parents and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Even my own mum seems to feel sorry for baby's dad and that really pisses me off because she knows what he's like with his temper. My midwife and the police officer that took him away don't think he is ready to be a dad and said I shouldn't put him on the birth certificate.
Am I doing the right thing to cut him out our lives or does he deserve ANOTHER chance?
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Baby's dad
6 replies
Delbelleber · 05/05/2020 12:07
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