porn addiction/relationships

[Poiuy123]

My partner & I have a little girl together but that just seems like all we have at the moment.
In January this year we moved in to my parents house whilst we looked for a new house(long story cut short), we was only supposed to be here for a couple of weeks but with everything going on my partner can’t find a job so it’s like we are stuck here. Our little girl is sleeping in the same room as us, & our sex life is pretty much non existent anymore. What’s bothering me a lot is that I found out that he is using porn, quite frequently. Turns out he was watching it whilst we was sexually active as well, which I don’t see why he needed to? but now it’s like I’ve been replaced with porn.
Do you think I’m over reacting here?

I just feel like since I had our daughter my body is nothing like it was before, I’m insecure I know that but I also know I look nothing like a porn star, how can he even find me attractive if that’s what he’s watching everyday.

We aren’t even romantic together or anything anymore, I don’t know if I’m over reacting but I’m really starting to feel like what is the point?
I never thought I’d be upset with my partner watching porn but I feel like I’ve just been pushed to the side and there’s nothing I can do about it

[Flower1309]

Try talking to him about it. Tell him you feel insecure. Do you want to have sex? Or is it him or both? Try not to dwell on the fact you don't look like the women in these videos. Most of us don't especially after children. And any men or women that expect their partner to look like that have a brain the size of a pea.

[Poiuy123]

I’d like to but we are staying at my parents right now so I’m not really keen on the idea. He probably feel like he needs to watch it if we aren’t having sex but it just makes me feel excluded.
I will try to speak to him about it at some point today

[filka]

I'm sure your parents understand the need for a bit of privacy now and then - can't you ask them to look DD for an hour or so?

But you do need to tackle it, because porn is definitely a passion-killer for both parties - you because it makes you feel insecure, him because it just desensitises him to the real thing.

[Crackerscheesescabbyknees]

If he's got time and the inclination to knock one out to porn at your parents, and can find the privacy, you can manage to do the sex.

I'm living with my mother (dad passed away, she's epileptic etc), partner and son (with another on the way).

It doesn't seem ideal but you can definitely swing it.

[Anothernick]

Yes there are ways, when our DC were young and we all stayed in the same hotel room on holiday we would sometime do it quietly under the covers when we knew they were asleep. Or both go into the bathroom together - not the most comfortable experience but it kept the spark alive. If your DH is using porn then he has urges, and if he used it alongside your sex life before then there is probably not much to worry about, I think he would be very happy to reignite your sexual side.

[VeeBe]

I understand why he wouldn't want to get down to business in your parents house.

Many moons ago I was dating a guy who lived with his parents. We went back to his and had sex. He was so incredibly loud that there was no way that his parents, the neighbours and people in the next county didn't hear it!

I was so mortified that the next morning I crept out and never went back.