sex after episiotomy

[ramade]

Gave birth to dd 7 months ago, had tear and episiotomy. mannaged to put off sex for about 6 months (!) but experienced some pain and feeling of pressure around there and so stopped. Now both of us feel a bit wierd about resumming bedroom action. Advice please, have been worrying about this too long.

[thegardener]

Poor you, I had an episiotomy too and also tried to put off sex for a while.

We used k jelly and took things very slowly, lots of caressing. Maybe if you want to check it out with your gp, it could be a good idea.

Hopefully things will get back to normal soon

[MrsTittleMouse]

I had quite a large episiotomy and I've had problems with the scar ever since. Are things OK when you're not having sex? Can you put pressure on the scar when you're relaxed? It certainly wouldn't hurt to get it checked out medically. I'm at the start of a treatment where I massage the scar and stretch things out (don't have as much "capacity" as I used to) with a set of bizarre medical dildos. However, my epi has been a considerable pain in the whatsit and aches when I stand for too long, gets sore during my period etc., so you might not need something so drastic.
Lots of MNers on in Childbirth have given me advice about lubrication, positions etc for when I get "back to it", so if this thread doesn't pick up, it could be worth asking on Childbirth.
Good luck, hopefully things will get back to normal soon. I've been told many times that the whole 6 week thing is complete nonsense for lots of us and sometimes things take several months to a year to really heal properly, so you're not a freak.
PS I can highly recommend wine as the pain relief of choice!

[ramade]

Thanks to both of you. I know I have to see the doctor about it really (have been putting that off as well!). Just needed to read that other people have got/been through the same thing I think.

[pipsqueeke]

it's not too long ther'es the plus. DH and I weren't properly mummy and daddy again until around 8 months- we had a few troubles initally but tbh things seemed to ahve settled back down again, I think the key is to take things slowly and go at your own pace.

[benandalex]

when i had an epsiotemy with ds who is now 4 its took a good few months of regular sex to get back to normal i think its like a normal scar were after a while with regular rubbing ect it desensitise (sorry my spelling is so bad had a couple of drinks to celebrate ds2s 2nd birthday lol) eventually were u cant feel the scar as much

[Fireflyfairy2]

I had an episiotomy with both my children & I understand exactly what you are talking about.

With dd I was scared & very drunk the first time we tried it.. one tip I do have is for you to go on top, that way you are in control, also lots of lubrication.

How about for a while you don't have full sex, just experiment? You know what I mean

I know drink doesn't solve anything, but, with a few glasses of wine in you, a tube of good lubrication & nice music...... who knows what might happen?