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Should I message her?

(9 Posts)
AmIThough Thu 10-Oct-19 09:53:33

I used to have two best friends. They fell out, and since then one has cut me off too (they never reconciled).

I messaged her over a year ago with a new phone number (about 3 months after they fell out) and got no response - fine.

She deleted her SM, or maybe blocked me. I still have her mom and sister as friends.
I got pregnant - well wishes came from her family, but heard nothing from her.

I was upset, but understood. People are entitled to cut off whoever they wish. I might have inadvertently offended or upset her. She doesn't owe me any explanation.

I know when the fallout happened she was in a bad place with work and her MH. She was on medication and felt she couldn't talk to her family.

I've been wanting to reach out for a while but don't want to cause her any unnecessary stress or upset. But today is mental health awareness day and it's made me want to check in.

I don't need or expect a response. I just want her to know I will always be there if she needs me, regardless.

Should I contact her, or should I just leave it?

hellsbellsmelons Thu 10-Oct-19 09:56:21

Contact her.
Say exactly what you have said here.
You are thinking of her today and you will always be here if she needs to reach out to you.
And just leave it at that.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Thu 10-Oct-19 09:57:19

I would leave it. You have reached out a few times, and to be honest reaching out on mental health awareness day would be liked a barbed olive branch. It's sad when friendships end but remember, people are in your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. So yes, sad as it is I really wouldnt get in touch again.

loobyloo1234 Thu 10-Oct-19 09:59:02

I would contact her OP. Maybe an open message that she can choose to respond to or not. So there’s less pressure if she really doesn’t want you in her life anymore?

Just a simple ‘hey hope you are ok’ etc etc

Babyg1995 Thu 10-Oct-19 09:59:56

Leave it if she wanted you in her life you would be if you reach out again she will.probably be annoyed.

AmIThough Thu 10-Oct-19 10:18:33

Thanks for the completely split opinions 
This is my problem - I have both sides running through my mind!

@BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack just for clarity, I only messaged her once, when I changed my phone number, and it was a generic message to all contacts so didn't warrant a response anyway.

I get your point about reaching out today. I wouldn't necessarily message today but they were talking about it on the news this morning and it put the thought back in my head.

I just wonder whether she felt like she couldn't be friends with one of us if she wasn't friends with both. I know that sounds ridiculous but the 3 of us were best friends at school, then lost contact for a couple of years, then got in touch and became really close again.

But I guess even if I did tell her I'm there if she ever needs a shoulder, she'd never come to me just for support anyway.

Maybe I should just leave it

AmIThough Thu 10-Oct-19 10:19:23

That thanks was completely lighthearted - I did add an emoji that got deleted when I posted!

AmIThough Sat 12-Oct-19 15:28:48

Hi guys,

I just wanted to let you know I did message her in the end (yesterday).
I just felt like I had to try.

She messaged back today. She was really glad I messaged and we're going to meet up for coffee.

Thanks for your advice!

Aminuts23 Sat 12-Oct-19 15:43:19

That’s great news

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