How does divorce affect children?

[mummy1428]

My husband and I are not getting on well and if we can't fix things I expect we will divorce. I know neither of us want to only see our children on a part time basis, so hopefully we can work things out.

Is it possible to be divorced and for it not to negatively affect children? We have a 2yr old and 4yr old and I hate the thought of them feeling split between two homes. It absolutely devastates me. I visualise our future of family holidays and christmases and that's what I want for them, not this. I really need to hear some positive divorce stories if they are out there please.

[mindutopia]

I think my circumstances may be unusual but I’m not sure. My parents divorced when I was 8. I only remember feeling so happy and excited the day my mum sat me down and told me they were getting divorced and we would be moving to our own house.

Our family life was very stressful. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells. There was a lot of tension and a lot of fighting. My dad wasn’t a nice person, physically and emotionally abusive. So it was a relief to think of a future when I wouldn’t have to deal with that anymore. I don’t actually remember anything about moving or their divorce but moving to a new house was a happy memory.

I had a great life as a child and though I do feel that I still carry some of the scars from just growing up with a dad who was manipulative and cruel, I don’t feel like the divorce itself or growing up with a single parent has negatively affected me at all. I am happy and well adjusted and have a happy marriage and family life that is unlike anything I experienced between my parents growing up.

I don’t know if it makes a difference but I only ever lived with my mum. So no going back and forth between homes, which for me was ideal. But my dad wasn’t a good dad. I think maybe living part of the time with both of them would have been preferred if I’d had a good relationship with my dad, but I don’t know.

[Mycatatetherat]

Same here, utter relief when my parents finally divorced. A tense atmosphere at home is good for nobody.
With my own divorce I know my dc have benefitted from the peace at home. What they've struggled with is their dad being inconsistent, unpredictable and unstable.

[eve34]

I was five when my parents separated. I had a happy childhood. My mother provided stability my father was a typical Disney dad and turned up as and when. Both remarried but I don't reflect negatively about my childhood. Just sad my parents weren't together.

My children's father left me 18 months ago. And has been adhoc with the children. My youngest just roles with it. My eldest has gone nc due to his Father rubbish parenting.

Your children are young. They will adapted. Be amicable and coparent as best you can and this will give you all the best possible outcome.

[Fmlgirl]

I was about 9 when my parents divorced and was relieved. My mum briefly took my dad back 2 years later or so and I remember him turning up at the door and I was absolutely godsmacked as I had really liked my life without him and without the cold atmosphere in the house.