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Am I putting up?

(26 Posts)
Secretpasswordbitch Thu 11-Jul-19 23:29:46

So I feel like I'm putting up in a relationship that I maybe don't truly want to be in. Reason for thought: DH is a helpful and very likable guy. I, on the other hand, am a mental mess. Were both mid 20's and have a 3-year-old DD. As parents were great, as friends were ok. But as a couple, I don't know. I find him draining as he always needs reassuring. He can't hold an intellectual convo or even one that I'm interested in. He wants to talk about people all the time, friends, work colleagues, family, friends of friends! Who cares there are so many things in the world to talk about. We have nothing in common, and our sex life is awful, and trust me I've tried. And I also feel like he kisses everyone's ass, even mine. I feel that I can't be myself around him or he'll get offended or he won't get my jokes or he'll be on the phone. He's super boring and can never admit his flaws. I find myself asking how long I'll be putting up with this and wondering what life would be without him. I'm also forbidden from talking about him or how I feel or our relationship to anyone else because he wants to be liked by everyone while he's free and supported to express himself in any way he feels.

Secretpasswordbitch Fri 12-Jul-19 17:30:29

@EAIOU that he wants to make this work and that he feels there are other stresses making us distant. At one point housing situations were very unsettled but now are good we're left with the same problem. Or at one point finances were a struggle, but now are good and again we're left with the same problem. He drags external issues up and says' here is the problem'. I tried to leave him once and he held on for dear life, protested or when he came to see our daughter, he made it about us. In the end, I said fine, let's try again. I know it was wrong but I was in a mental hole and it was easier. I think I'll have another convo with him tonight and be as honest as possible.


Thank you all for your inputs, much appreciated

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