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Can stbx stay on the mortgage and it not effect his ability to get another mortgage?

(104 Posts)
Rainbow03 Tue 11-Jun-19 22:35:17

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combatbarbie Sat 15-Jun-19 09:38:58

His share means nothing if he wont agree to a deal..... The judge may well award 70/30 split in your favour but with caveat you stay in house until son is 18.

I wouldn't make him a trustee in any case as he will always have a hold over you. And that's what he wants

Rainbow03 Sat 15-Jun-19 09:55:25

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Rainbow03 Sat 15-Jun-19 10:00:29

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Rainbow03 Sat 15-Jun-19 10:05:17

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Rainbow03 Sat 15-Jun-19 10:06:01

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Rainbow03 Sat 15-Jun-19 10:08:35

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Jaffacakebeast Sat 15-Jun-19 10:14:36

If you will be working part time and single will you get taxcredit/UC? Some mortgage providers take these into consideration, along with CM

Rainbow03 Sat 15-Jun-19 10:17:32

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LemonTT Sat 15-Jun-19 10:43:10

It is not an option for him not to pay CMS no matter what is written in the consent order. It is not a thing you or he can negotiate on. It is an entitlement for you child and you cannot give it away to stay in this house.

If you want to stay in the house you need to be able to demonstrate you can afford the mortgage. You need to find out how much you can borrow with or without your mothers help. Then base your decision around that and the need to find “a” secure home for your child.

You can apply for a mesher order that could mean his share of the equity is not released for a period of time. Isn’t this what the solicitor advised. If so, go with this and present the offer to him formally and ask for his reply formally.

combatbarbie Sat 15-Jun-19 11:11:55

Have you called womans aid, i would speak to them about the emotional and financial abuse.

The CM is not negotiable and if he quits his job he wont get any benefits.

Keep things formal..... Do not engage with him verbally, his threats are idle. You are in a stronger position as you have DS for a favourable split on marital home with a mesh order.

He is manipulating you so now you need to grey rock and let it ride over you.... Easier said than done but you need to emotionally remove him from your headspace.

katewhinesalot Sat 15-Jun-19 11:25:08

The trust thing is a good idea but only for some of the equity. If he walks away with 25k of savings for his deposit then you get the equivalent left in the house for you. Any extra which would normally be divided equally between you, could then be protected for your son.

Rainbow03 Sat 15-Jun-19 11:28:41

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Rainbow03 Sat 15-Jun-19 11:30:27

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combatbarbie Sat 15-Jun-19 11:56:19

Where are the savings OP, in the interim i would seriously consider freezing the accounts until the courts decide.... Providing they are in joint names of course, which i hope they are!!!!

Banks will do this on joint accts to stop the other clearing the accounts

Rainbow03 Sat 15-Jun-19 11:58:25

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combatbarbie Sat 15-Jun-19 11:59:28

Been thinking about this..... If it were me id offer 70/30 on the house with mesh order and 50/50 on any other assets including his pension and not budge. The only thing i would negotiate is not claiming on his pension. I think that is more than fair. Dont let it get into a battle, offer it, if he refuses then just get to court. Easiest way to keep costs down.

combatbarbie Sat 15-Jun-19 12:01:00

With the money he has moved, the judge will/can ask for financial disclosure so if he spends it all...... The judge will not be impressed..... All goes in your favour

Shylo Sat 15-Jun-19 12:16:35

I think the trust idea is a terrible one .... your ex will want to be a trustee which gives him control over you for the rest of your life. I think it also stores up problems further down the line if you were to sell the house and look to downsize because I doubt the trust would agree to follow you

PicsInRed Sat 15-Jun-19 12:25:07

Don't believe what he tells you.
He's on a different team now - the opposing team.

Listen to what your own solicitor tells you (and put their advice through the filter of your own information about your ex).

TBH, you are going to need an aggressive and resilient solicitor AND barrister.

Rainbow03 Sat 15-Jun-19 12:47:59

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Rainbow03 Sun 16-Jun-19 18:24:30

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katewhinesalot Sun 16-Jun-19 23:46:47

I think that's the best option. He's angry now and trying to pay you back for rejecting his efforts to keep control of you through the house.
However hard it is try not to react to his anger. That's what he wants. Keep calm and civil.

Rainbow03 Mon 17-Jun-19 07:42:11

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Happinessbegins Mon 17-Jun-19 08:22:51

You have done the right thing re the house. I wrecked my brains about how to keep the house when I divorced and it would have been so complicated that it was easier to sell up. When you have got an awkward obstructive ex like I had and you obviously have it’s impossible to negotiate reasonably and they will never change.

Happinessbegins Mon 17-Jun-19 08:23:39

Wracked my brains I mean.

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