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15 replies

BeanBeanBean · 28/06/2007 14:03

I really would appreciate someones opinion on this, havent spoken to any of my mates for fear of I told you sos so I thought Id seek the advice of strangers.

I have a DD of 16 months and me and her dad live apart due to monetary reasons, i.e. neither of us have any. So at the minute he lives with his parents in the SE and I live with my mum in the midlands. Both of us are saving like mad so we can buy a house in the next year and everything was going perfectly till a couple of months ago.

One Saturday morning about 2 months ago he called me (this isnt unusual, as you can imagine being so far apart we ring each other all the time). He sounded like he was on a train so I said, where are you? he replied Just going into town to meet Vicky. So I said Whos Vicky?. Vicky is a friend of his that he doesnt see regularly or that I have ever met. I was a bit stroppy on the phone but we didnt argue. As soon as I put the phone down I felt guilty and sent a text that said something like, - sorry for being a bit off, have a lovely day and say hi to Vicky for me - . That was that and I went on with my day.

About 5ish that night I sent him another text asking what time he would be home so that I could give him a call. About an hour later he text back saying it wouldnt be till late as it was a 3 hour train journey and hed speak to me tomorrow. Being a bit confused I text back and said - 3 hours to town? - Then I heard nothing.

I tried to call him about 7 (which is the time we always call each other) and his phone was turned off. Continued calling on and off all evening but still off. Next morning, phone still off. Im getting really worried by this point so ring his parents. His dad answers the phone and says - Sorry, hes not back yet. Said hed be back about 12. - At 12 I ring his parents again, speak to his dad who says - Sorry, he rang a minute ago hes not feeling well, he will be back at 6.

At 6 I ring again, spoke to his mum this time. All day Id managed to keep my anger out of my voice, but I think his mum knew I was pissed off. Told me his dad was picking him up from the station and that shed make sure he rang me as soon as he got it.

When he eventually called, we had a massive row. He had been to visit her in a town about 10 miles from where I live, so he had every intention of spending the night there. Claims he didnt tell me coz he knew how Id react!!!! Anyway, for right or wrong, I believed him that his intentions were honourable, but that he was just an idiot for not telling me what he was doing and we moved on.

Last week, i broke my mobile phone, so he bought an old one of his up for me to borrow. I plugged it in and realised that all his messages were still on there. Being me, I had qualms in reading them. God I wish I hadnt now. There were about 50 from an ex of his, lots from when they first met and most from before he met me. The one that really got me was the one that said - Hi hun, been thinking about you too. How are you? - followed by - No Im not up to much either, we will have to catch up some time xx. - You may think theyre innocent enough but they were sent whilst I was lying in hospital the day after giving birth!!!!

We all have keepsakes I know, but he hadnt kept any of the texts that I sent him. When I questioned him about it he says he cant remember sending them and that Im getting the wrong end of the stick coz i only read her replies.

I feel sick thinking about it. There were other texts from her too, sent late at night right up to the time when he got his new phone (about 5 months ago) and he always claimed that they ended badly and werent friends.

DO I really know this man? HAs he got another life that hes hiding from me coz we live apart? Opinions would be welcome. SOrry for the long post!

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newlifenewname · 28/06/2007 14:07

Sorry but he sounds so dishonest and unwilling to be open with you that it really seems as though this is one to consider walking away from before you are in too deep.

The thing he said about not telling you as he knoew your reaction would be negative is typical immature man not taking responsibility and trying to blame you. Very tosseresque and I'm very sorry to feel the need to say that to you.

Poor you