Been struggling for a year, don't know how to get over it

[Mamalexi343]

So I've been putting off coming on here to ask for advice, not because it's a last resort but because I've been hoping I could move on, seems like I can't though so please, I need advice.

My DH and I have been together for 8 years, married for 2 and have a DD together. Last year we got into some financial hardships (his fault but I won't get into that) and unfortunately at the same time I got diagnosed with a very serious condition that put me out of action for months. I knew it was stressful for him but I had no idea what was coming next. Out of the blue he starts becoming distant and snappy and complaining about our sex life, which I'll be honest has been pretty nonexistent and I'll hold my hands up to say that's my fault, I've completely lost my sex drive and with everything going on its not even in my mind let alone on it. So the arguments start coming and one day he just comes out with 'I'm not attracted to you anymore...I don't find you attractive'

After pressing him further he "prefers skinny girls, he can't help it it's just his preference."

My weight has always been an issue with him, I am overweight and I do struggle to lose it but I never for one second thought that the man I love would ever tell me that I wasn't good enough. It broke my heart and I have never felt more disgusted in myself or hated myself more than I do now. I used to self harm and I haven't in those 8 years we've been together but it's an urge I'm struggling to not give into.

He's since apologised and we are on better terms and he thinks were back to normal but he has no idea that everyday this is all swimming in my head, I don't know how to get over it, am I just being over dramatic?

Sorry for the rambling I know it's not the end of the world, he hasn't hit me or anything like that but it's constantly there in the pit of my stomach that he doesn't love me unconditionally as I do him

Any advice would be great thanks

[Shoxfordian]

Ok, firstly he is a knob and he should never have been so unkind

Secondly you're wrong to love him unconditionally; that sort of love is for a child not a partner.

My advice is relationship counselling; probably divorce

[Izzidigne]

Sounds to me like he could have been struggling with his mental health. Men usually cast around for something to explain why they are unhappy. Often they get it wrong. I think he was trying out all sorts of things to explain why he was miserable. I think when you are happy and love someone skinny or not skinny is irrelevant. Otherwise there would be very few people enjoying a good sex life.

[Mamalexi343]

Sorry I meant unconditionally as in despite his flaws and things I don't like I would never make him feel bad about them or humiliate him or make him feel as he has made me feel, I feel that the only way he would ever truly love me would be to be this skinny idea of what he wants which I know is not right.

Thank you for your comment though he was an utter knob for doing it.

[LoveforPGTipsMonkey]

begs he question, why then did he marry/stayed 8yrs with a woman who's not skinny? Personally I'd have asked him that - or 'then why don't you go and find a woman you fancy?'
It's likely as Izzi said he wants to blame something for his mood/lack of success and doesn't want to look at himself.
Worst case scenario is, he iikes to control and put his partner down, and not actually interested in skinny women.