Is this anxiety about new relationship?

[MinnieMouse7]

I met somebody on OLD 1st Feb. We have met twice and spoken pretty much everyday since.

After the 2nd time we met I cooled things off because I thought I was just in love with the idea of him but when we were together it didn't feel quite the same.

For a week or so after we didn't communicate much and it was clear he was upset that thing might not continue. At the time I just said I don't think I was ready for someone else in my life. I've got an 8 month old and been single since pregnancy. Own my own house, work full time when I return next month, also studying to further my career.

He has a 2 year old and has his own home, good job etc. I thought we really clicked. He isn't my usual type as I used to go for guys who couldn't keep a job, no ambition of owning or privately renting and rather ponce of everyone else. Don't know if that bit is relevant.

After the week or so of cooling things off we got back to chatting like we did before. He was very understanding and is happy to take things as slow as I need. He's the loveliest, kindest, thoughtful person I've ever known.

So why every time it gets closer to meeting him again I start worrying and panicking and not thinking I can do it. Everything he is is everything I could need or want in a person but there's something stopping me.

I used to be the person who jumped straight in relationships without a second thought even though in hindsight it was wrong.

Any help appreciated

[category12]

Are you attracted to him?

[Minus1]

It might not be the right time for you. I find it is such a pain trying to start up a relationship around the kids that it is easier not to bother.

[MinnieMouse7]

I think so. I know he's not my usual type and he's shorter than I'd normally go for but he's still taller than me just about. I get butterflies when we talk about things. Just can't get over this feeling every time we plan to meet.

[MinnieMouse7]

@Minus1 yes I see where you're coming from too. I'm mostly happy on my own but feel there is something missing.

[MinnieMouse7]

I just don't know what to do. I struggle with anxiety and depression as it is which is mostly kept at bay. It's more the anxiety that affects me now rather than anything else.

[ALittleBitConfused1]

I had an experience of this last year.. met someone who i got on with, we talked every day. Laughed. When we were together we really got on, loved talking to him, looked forward to seeing him. I was seeing him for about 4 months but every time we were due to meet I got panicky, wanted to cancel, felt sick. I kept telling myself it was because I was nervous but it wasn't. I just wasn't ready for anything and eventually I had to admit myself that I just didn't fancy him. It, whatever it is, wasn't there. I wanted it to be but it wasn't. He finished it ad he wanted more and I didn't, I think he knew that I wasn't into it like he was. Ok wasn't ready and had always said I didn't want a relationship from the start nut if the truth be told I if I was feeling the right way about him I prob ably would be gone for it.
Him ending things helped me confirm internally that I didn't fancy him, that he wasn't right for me as I didn't feel sad or anything. It was almost a relief so I knew for sure then.
It might be that you're not ready. Going through a pregnancy and having a baby on your own is emotionally and physically exhausting give yourself time. On the other hand it might be that he just isn't for you (that doesn't mean that you should carry on going for your usual type lol). You can't force it, even if he is lovely. Be kind to yourself OP you have a lot going on.

[MinnieMouse7]

@ALittleBitConfused1 thank you for sharing your experience with me. At least I know that it would be okay if I didn't fancy him despite everything else ticking the right boxes. I'm seeing him in the next few days so I guess I really need to think about things while I'm with him and afterwards.

I would hate to upset him further even though I've made it clear I can't promise anything.