She's kicked off again

[Adrianflank]

This could be quite long, so I'm sorry!

Where to start, been with my partner now for 3 years, we own a house and have joint finances and no kids! In her last relationship the bloke cheated on her, on a night out on the piss! I bet you can see where this is going! First year we was together I went out maby once or twice a month, started off ok, but as the year went on she started to get funny with me, now it just ends in arguments, I have been out twice since October last year, missing mates birthdays and stuff, I think I've got to the point of not bothering because it just makes my life easier!

We was discussing holidays, and we have one booked up, she wants to book another holiday, it's not cheap either, £3000 we just cannot afford it!

Anyone one of my friends has invited me to a weekend away, flights and hotel it will cost £200, I spoke to my partner about it, she didn't seem to bothered but then she won't let on until the next day, and it's so obvious that's she pissed off, she is off with me through texts, and barely speaks to me when we are at home, I find it very frustrating because she completely shuts down and refuse to talk/argue about it

The last thing I wanna rant about, never really used to bother me but recently I'm starting to resent it alot, we never really have money for nice days out and stuff like that, I can't remember the last time I could really afford to but myself some new cloths, but pretty much every weekend she will go out a buy new cloths, Not cheap stuff either, she will put it on her credit card, she will usaly spend around £700-£1000 month on her credit card, but her dad will just pay it off for her every month, I get that it's her dad and not nothing to do with with me but I'm the one that has to drive her to places and walk round bored out of my mind while she shops, I see stuff I like but I don't have the money to buy it!

Sorry for the rant, sorry if it makes no sense it's late and I'm tired

[lattewith3shotsplease]

She sounds like a spoilt child, and you appear to like the single life.

Maybe being in a long term relationship isn't for you ?

[NotTheFordType]

but I'm the one that has to drive her to places and walk round bored out of my mind while she shops

Why? Just let her go shopping on her own.

You don't sound well suited though, I'd bin her off.

[shooshoopoopoo]

Not the best title. Or the best post. Or the best place.

[SD1978]

She sounds to be emotionally controlling, and if she has made you feel you can’t see your friends anymore, why stay? If you get made to feel guilty about spending money, and don’t have any due to the relationship, it’s nit one I’d choose to be in.

[1forAll74]

Unless you can actually sit down and talk through all these issues, and get her to listen to how her selfish behaviour is affecting you, you are going to be in a never ending situation of feeling resentful. So no proper way to have a decent future relationship I fear.....

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Wallk away.

Daddy pays her (frankly outrageous) shopping bills. She wants £££ hols despite knowing it is unaffordable and refuses to allow you to see your friends.

She is spoilt, controlling, abusive and it will only get worse. Does anyone ever say no to her I wonder....?

[preggolady]

She sounds exactly what I used to be like and you should have a think about what is best for you and what makes you happiest. I saw my ex fall into the trap you're in and it is just better in the long run for you to get on with your life and do what makes you happy. From experience she sounds like she has no respect for you and that she thinks she is superior. Luckily I have come out the other side a better person and my old self makes my skin crawl but that doesn't mean I didn't make life a misery for my ex while we were together.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

^^
What Pynongyang said. This relationship isn’t going anywhere. If you want a proper relationship, maybe start a family and treating eachother with respect, this isn’t the one for you.

[ivykaty44]

You don’t go out as it’s an easier option for you - that’s your choice

You tell your partner you’re going away for the weekend and she sulks - perhaps you need to sit down and talk to her about her behaviour, explain that it’s not appropriate to sulk/moody due to announcement you’re going away

[ivykaty44]

If you don’t want to go shopping then your gf can get the bus, you drop her of or she goes with a friend

What do you have in common?

[ALittleBitConfused1]

I think the first response is ridiculous if I'm honest and I don't think there's anything wrong with the title or post or the place. You're asking for advice on your relationship, that's what we do here so I'm not really sure what that's about. I'm not sure why your post means LTR are not for you, from what you've explained your problem doesn't stem from the fact that you're in a LTR, but from the fact that you're in one with a completely selfish, spoiled and controlling piece of work.
You are allowed out, whenever you want. You don't have to ask permission and shouldn't have to worry about your partners response. She has no right to prevent you going out or spending time with your friends, if it was every night then yeah maybe question if it's appropriate but the odd (weekly) night out, pre kids, is fine. Her kicking off to control your behaviour is wrong and her fault not yours, it has no reflection on how good or bad you are at LTR.
I'm assuming you both contribute equally to the bills, if so I'm not sure what you can do about the whole money situation. If her dad chooses to indulge his daughters selfish and stupid attitude towards finances that's his choice. However if my assumption is wrong and you are left with nothing because she doesn't contribute equally to the household then you may want to insist on changing this arrangement (and consider whether she is financially abusive too).
In Any case no one deserves to be treated like this , surely being in a relationship is about teamwork, there doesn't sound like there is much of that going on here. Some people will take take take. My advice would be to end it and go have some fun while you have no responsibility (I'm assuming you're young as your kid free).
She doesn't sound like a nice person.

[TheNaze73]

She sounds so draining.

Bin her off, life’s too short for her histrionics

[Ryder63]

Blimey, are you her lapdog? Bin. You are not suited. Go have a life with your mates!

[Joysmum]

I wouldn’t want to tie myself to someone like this for the rest of my life.

She has issues, however she’s also able to make the decision to try to cope with those issues and she’s happy to stay as she is at your cost. I wouldn’t put up with it.

[nocoolnamesleft]

Okay. This is not sounding healthy for either of you. I would suggest that (when sober, as I suspect you may not have been last night) you sit down and talk to each other like a pair of adults. And I stress that, because it sounds a wee bit like you've got stuck in adult/child mode. If you can't communicate with each other properly about your relationship, then I think you will soon need to communicate with each other about how to end your relationship. So for pity's sake don't have any children with things like this.

[Adrianflank]

Thanks for the replies, very helpful, We are gonna have a sit down tonight and have a chat!

To the poster that said im not suited to being in a relationship, was a bit unfair, surely everyone is entitled to a social life, I don't wanna go out every month 2 or 3 times, but once or twice every couple of months without drama