The reason I feel like a failure is because my 'step dad' whom I thought until the age of 30 was my biological dad, has died.
He sexually abused me from as far back as I can remember aged 3? Don't know, until 13 years old. Very clearly remember getting pubes/ moving house, miraculously abuse stopped at the same time I started to realise (birds n bees talks at school) er, This has not been right! Anyway, he's dead. My problem is that he/I never made whole truth known & despite me being nc for the last 13 years I'm now expected to attend funeral.
I don't want to go BUT I do want to support my brothers (half bros- they don't know) cause their dad has died.
I feel sick at thought of being stood there listening to bullshit about what a great guy he was.
Feeling esp sad as I know, cause he told me at 15, he was sorry for what he did & he was abused as a child. Sorry, I'm confused & need to vent. I've promised to go to funeral. DH is very supportive but very much 'it's up to you' wwyd?
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Failure? *Trigger warning*
13 replies
VivienneEastwood · 22/01/2018 03:57
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