Why do some people manipulate, lie and gaslight

[thisishard2]

and are they even aware that they are doing it?

[kateclarke]

Some are, some maybe not.

Most are very damaged, but that’s no excuse.

[thisishard2]

Thanks. What do they think will actually happen if they are straight with someone? Maybe they don't know how to be.

Am getting divorced and there have been several incidents that I can only describe as gaslighting. Being accused of being a thief and other similar stuff.

[thisishard2]

It's like I don't know him at all and in fact I never knew him / or him me .

[kateclarke]

In my experience it’s all about control

[thisishard2]

Found this article.

[MistressDeeCee]

Narcissists aren't very happy people. They don't show their real face. So caught up in always being right, upsetting partner with outrageous demands and accusations, ruining your self esteem, and your reputation to friends family and colleagues if they can. Whilst pretending he is so saintly. They're total mood killers and life wreckers.

Been there before, it's an onslaught. I did all the wondering why they are that way, did a lot of reading about it (there are loads of articles) then determined, that was that. Id no longer wonder. That although I knew I'd miss him horribly despite all (& I did miss him), he was a manipulative, abusive dementor and Id had a very lucky escape from a life of misery and constant nitpicking and microaggressions.

5 years after him I met lovely OH who is his complete opposite, thank God.

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

Yes, I agree MistressDeeCee.

In my experience these people are often also charismatic.

I have been puzzling over my latest ex and I think that he believes the lies he says. He is prone to lavishly rewriting a situation or conversation and every time he retells his version he seems convinced that it really happened that way.