I know this must sound trivial but it's ruined my sleep so I've probably lost any sense of proportionality.
I've been stupid. ExH was helpful with an admin task (for my benefit). He got a form, filled in his part, gave to me. I misplaced the bloody thing. Didn't tell him as thought I'd find it. But have searched high and low and can't.
There are no consequences of the delay yet but I'm going to have to own up. Wish I'd told him straight away. I've let him believe it's done which is basically lying. I've buried my head in the sand like an idiot. What is a normal amount of worry?
This wouldn’t be a big deal to me either - especially if you go with the ‘I told a white lie, because I was ashamed to admit I misplaced it and thought I’d find it, but it really is lost now, so I need to ask you to fill your part again”. You’re only asking him to fill a bit of a bloody form in, it’s not like it’s a particularly arduous task for most competent adults to complete. Perhaps if it involved physical exertion or inconvenience for him (travel, time, cost) then your worry would be justifiable. Asking for him to write on a bit of paper? Meh, it’s a non issue.
This is your ex husband - there is a back story here, and reasons why your relationship broke down which are probably informing your feelings on asking him for assistance, and your fear of his reaction at your ‘failure’ (note: I do not think losing a form is a failure. Bits of paper get lost. It’s what they do). Would you feel this way if it was a work colleague, your best friend or your Mum you had to ask this favour of again?
No it's not a big deal, but I can see why you feel like this. i'm sure the right approach is honesty but I'd probably go for... I followed up with xxx if document have been received and they haven't - must have got lost in the post, I've got a new one blah blah....
He behaved like he hated me for a year. Then things started to thaw and we are in this odd friendly place. It's good but also sad. Better than hostility of course. We've a way to go yet with the financial settlement/divorce!!