This is my first time posting here, so please bare with me whilst I get to grips with all the abbreviations!
A little background history first, got married when I was 17 ( 
I know), been married for 10 years now and have 2 DCs. My DH adores me and treats me amazingly and crazily in love with me. A fantastic father and DCs adore him. It is a bit cliché but I am so lucky to have him. It breaks him when he sees me cry and would move heaven and earth to make me okay.
There is only one problem. I don't feel the same love he has for me. I don't know what is wrong with me. I wasn't crazy about him when we first got married either but I was young and naive and thought perhaps I would eventually fall in love with him. Sex is okay, I don't really get turned on by him even if he does all the right things. I do it just so we can have some intimacy and can't wait for it to be over.
We do have talks about this and I have gently told him that I know that he loves me more than I love him and that he is attached to me more than I am to him. It has upset him. He thinks that I may find someone else since I don't feel strongly about him. It hurts me to see him upset and hurt because I do care about him. I can already see what some of our talks can do to him I can only imagine what it would do to him if I told him I no longer wanted to be with him.
I don't want to feel this way but I can't help it. I know that I probably will never find someone who loves me the way he does. There are times when me and DCs go away to my sister's and I don't miss him so much. He calls me every evening when I'm away but I could go on for days without needing to hear his voice.
If we were to get a divorce it won't be so easy without family poking their nose in and trying to mediate between us and get us back together. Not to mention that divorce is hugely frowned upon in my culture. I also think about were he would live, I don't think he could afford it. It would also come as a complete shock to all our friends and family because we seem like the 'perfect couple' and crazily in love with each other. Only they don't know that deep down I'm hiding my real emotions.
This isn't something that has just popped up all of a sudden, I have been getting these feelings so many times over the years but I keep supressing them and thinking about all his positives and the love he has for me and hate myself for being such an ungrateful woman. I keep telling myself that it will pass and as we get older I will learn to appreciate him more and maybe 'love' isn't everything? 
I posted this here but I don't know what I'm expecting. To let it all out maybe? Or perhaps so someone can put some sense into me and wave a magic wand and make me fall in love. Or maybe it's normal to feels this way? I don't know but all your input would be appreciated.
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Relationships
One sided love marriage
PickledLemons · 04/11/2017 13:25
You were a child when you got married!
.....and yet there are plenty of caucasian 17 year old's getting pregnant and becoming mothers - and it's considered 'normal' and 'acceptable' and they get given support 
OP, i come from a pakistani culture which would ideally have all girls married off as soon as they hit 16.
I refused an arranged marriage, i didn't see the point in getting married at all.
I'm 37 now and still unmarried and loving life.
Dealing with the 'fall out' of my decision hasn't been and still isn't easy, but the fact that i'm financially independent and not living close to them/under their roof makes it so much easier to deal with/ignore.
I've no doubt you family will try to interfere with your decision to leave - but you don't have to allow them that power.
You only have to tell them once that your decision is made and it's final and that you won't discuss it with them, or have a 'family meeting' about it.
Then you just put the phone down/walk out of the room/avoid contact if they refuse to respect that.
All you need to ensure is that you can manage financially without having to rely on him or them for support - because they will use that to their advantage or to give you a hard time.
Your dh will be hurt and he can quite easily turn nasty - especially as he will be feeling like he's been made a 'fool' of or 'lost face'.
You made a silly decision when you were 17 but you don't have to spend the rest of your life living like this.
You deserve a happy, fulfilled life.....and no amount of money or 'happy families' will give you that if you are not emotionally 'connected'.
I suggest you get all your ducks in a row first by making sure you have the finances needed to pay living costs etc before you tell him it's over.
Do you want to remain living where you are? He might refuse to move out which means either living together whilst the divorce gets sorted or you move out with the kids.....so make sure you've enough money for a new rental just in case.
Do you have friends you can discuss this with and get help from?
There are lots of asian women's charities who will be able to give you support too - even if it's just listening and advice on practical issues.
You are going to need support from 'outside' your circle though if your family feel differently about this.
I know the grass MAY not be greener however right now all I know is that I am not happy.
HeebieJeebies456
Thank you for your support. I feel like I'm suffocating. All my life I'm trying to put others first. More than anything I've been keeping it together for the sake of my kids, they're so attached to him.
Financially I'm not worried, tenancy is under my name so I wouldn't have to move out.
It's not something that will happen over night. But I think I will have to break it to him soon. I think he also deserves to be with someone who will reciprocate his love.
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