After years of stonewalling and misdirection over dp's relationship with a work colleague, he accidentally let a bit of info slip this morning. Something along the lines of whenever they met up (in a group, he said) he felt she was interested in him, paid him attention etc. This is the complete opposite of what he has told me all along. As it happens, over the years he asked me if it was ok if they went out together alone for a shared interest, which i had no problem with. Turns out he shortly afterwards started looking at her as a potential dating partner, which i didnt know. I found out well after the fact that when he moved job a bit after that he kept in touch (in fact, tucked away a letter to keep) and at some point then said to me he wanted to break up, with a view to seeing her. We didnt break up because I was so upset, apparently.
My version is slightly different. I'd asked him if there was anything going on after he spent the night at a mutual work conference. He said no. This was after the social event together. When I came across the letter he said it was the last one she'd written him, as she didnt seem interested in him like that, and he decided the right thing to do was stay with me. He reckoned hed decided to stay because i was so upset, but id found the letter before this, so he has said he'd decided to stay at two different times. Im still confused about that.
Anyhow, I lost my rag on the phone, called her a slag, as she knew we were in a relationship all this time, yet was dhowing interest...Had a go at him for being a liar and probable cheating bastard, etc. V loudly.
This is not like me at all. I'm embarrassed the lovely lady next door heard. I'm embarrassed I've let this snap me. How do i get control of myself and stop being such an embarrassing emotional reactionary idiot??
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Relationships
Lost it big time on phone - tips for clawing back some self respect
Ventiamore · 25/10/2017 11:56
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