Originally posted in ‘Housekeeping’ but have been advised that ‘Relationships’ might be more appropriate.....
Hello there!
I'm pretty new and this is my first post so please bear with me. I guess I'm after some advice.
I'm finding it very hard to cope at the moment with everything that there is to do on a daily basis. I have a DD who will be 2 in December and work full time. My DH has his own business which I do the books for (and am currently doing a bookkeeping qualification for) and all the admin. I also do all the house admin, cleaning, washing, shopping, everything that I'm sure all of you guys are doing. I'm very fortunate in that my mother looks after DD 3 days a week so I also sort out a lot of the running around re. childcare as DH and my mother don't speak (logistical nightmare making sure they don't cross paths!) The only thing I don't have to do is cook dinner in the evening for myself and DH as he does this, but only due to his obsession with having a full on cooked meal everyday (he seems to have some aversion to just having beans on toast in order to save time!) This weekend broke me. I feel like I spent all weekend cleaning, washing, shopping, doing craft activities with DD (which I have no resentment towards - this was probably the only fun part), cooking up freezer meal stocks for DD, looking for re-mortgage quotes for BIL etc etc. My back seems to be in pieces from standing all the time and when I looked at my house this morning before leaving for work it looks like a bomb has hit it. I feel completely deflated! My husband has just enrolled on a college course one day a week (where I work funnily enough) and I seem to be sorting half of this out for him too - pushing him to do his assignments, sorting out his software etc. I seem to be the driving force behind everything and it's wearing me out! I've already tried talking to him about it and explaining that I seem to be doing everything and it's too much for me. I thought that this might prompt something to change but it doesn't seem to have. He might put the washing out now and again, but this seems like a drop in the ocean of never ending tasks that need doing! This morning I felt like I would be better off not living with him anymore which I feel awful about, especially as we are supposed to be trying for DC2. But if we have DC2 will everything just be even harder to cope with? As I write this I realise there is no miracle cure for the busyness of everyone's lives and being able to fit everything in, but having already tried to talk to DH I'm at a loss as to what to do next, if anything!. I suppose I'm just wondering if anyone out there has some words of wisdom which I could really do with right now?
Well my lunch break is nearly over and I still need to sort out a new laptop for DH!
Apologies for the rant!
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Relationships
Struggling to keep on top of everything
nattynat82 · 09/10/2017 18:01
Stop. Just stop. You don’t ‘have’ to do all this...you are choosing to. Choice comes with consequence, and the consequence here is a broken you...and what use is a broken you to your beautiful DC. You need to work as a team...until DH can do that for/with you I’d forget about any more future plans with him 
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