Domestic abuse campaign/education programme

[NorthandSouth98374]

I've been thinking for a while about running a campaign/raising awareness of the different forms of domestic abuse in my local area. I think that women who suffer emotional/financial abuse often don't realise they're in an abusive relationship because it doesn't involve physical violence. I was thinking of maybe collecting for the local women's refuge by pushing a collection bag through everyone's door along with a leaflet about the different forms abuse can take with what to do if women think they are suffering abuse (I'm involved in a campaign group, I wouldn't leaflet every house myself personally).

I was also thinking of getting in touch with Show Racism the Red Card, which runs educational programmes in schools etc. about racism, to see how they go about it with a view to setting up a similar programme about sexism, which I think is at the heart of a lot of domestic abuse. I thought once I started the ball rolling I could contact the local newspapers to see if they'd be interested in running an article about the campaign to raise awareness of the different forms of abuse. I was emotionally abused in my late teens/early 20s and sometimes wonder if I'd have left sooner if I'd realised the signs of what was happening sooner.

Basically I'm asking if anyone has any other ideas on how to get the word out about the lesser discussed forms of domestic abuse?

[chugging]

Try contacting somewhere like Refuge or the Ava project, the Freedom project or any similar foundation already working to raise awareness in this area and see what they are already offering in your area or what training (etc) they are running, and see what you can do to help or join.

Good luck.

[NorthandSouth98374]

Thank you! The Ava project seems geared to the south and I'm in the North East but it's good to see their work. I'm trying to think of other ways to communicate with women who might be in abusive relationships but it's really hard.

[tadpole73]

Talks in schools, colleges, universities, large companies for employees.
Groups held monthly in libraries, village halls, do a drop-in surgery once a month and get others on board from organisations dealing with housing/fin/legal

[NorthandSouth98374]

Thanks tadpole that's very helpful. Drop in surgery is an excellent idea! I've just been appointed to the board of a housing company as it happens so perhaps I could raise it there. I'm not sure how much they would be able to do though. Any suggestions are very welcome.

[blessedbrianblessed]

Really, really good idea.

Not criticising DV/DA charities at all, because I think they do an amazing job already and I am sure resources are stretched, but I really feel strongly that not enough is done by the State / NHS to educate women and men what constitutes a healthy relationship - and what does not.

I know loads now, but that's because I was in a controlling and abusive relationship for several years, and, after a time was able to a) work out that this was not a good thing and what was going on was not 'all my fault' b) was able to access info online to educate myself into what the hell was happening to me, c) to find strategies to help me get out of it and d) recover from it.

But I had to go and find all this stuff and plough through a load of dubious stuff at the same time. It appals me to think of the thousands of people who are out there now, absolutely trapped, desperately unhappy, in controlling and abusive relationships and yet with very few opportunities to even gain a sense of perspective as to what is happening to them.

A particular challenge will be communicating with women (and men) who are so controlled that they don't have the option to go to work / drop ins / out independently.

For a start we need a sustained, mass channel, public information campaign, along the lines of 'Don't drink and drive' etc.

I'd be interested to hear how you progress your ideas. Good on you.

[NorthandSouth98374]

That was almost exactly my situation blessed. Luckily I hadn't moved in with him, hadn't married him, and hadn't had kids with him. I think I knew what was happening was wrong, but it was almost embarrassment to admit it to myself, never mind to anyone else.

Totally agree about the need for a public information campaign. They ran a few adverts last year with teenagers in demonstrating controlling behaviour, but they seem to have only ran for a few months and I haven't seen one in ages. Yeah, it's so difficult to get in touch with those who are controlled to that extent. I suppose it can only be done by going through the media.

[tadpole73]

NorthandSouth. I’m in a controlling abusive relationship and I’m sure it would be easier to get out of, if I had emotional support elsewhere. I do think large employers should do more.

[silkpyjamasallday]

I think it's a great idea to try and raise more awareness OP, I am sure that I would not have been in three abusive relationships in my teens and onwards had I been aware I was being abused. Nothing was taught at school about financial or emotional abuse at school, I thought it was only abuse if your partner was beating you up. It was only reading people's experiences on here that opened my eyes, I was raped by a boyfriend as a teen and hadn't considered it rape until recently, I just knew I felt uncomfortable with what he had done. You've had some great suggestions and I don't think I can add anymore, just wanted to post to say you are doing something really proactive and positive. More needs to be done to protect people, especially those being abused who may feel uncertain as they are being gaslighted by an abusive partner.

[blessedbrianblessed]

Information like this on the links I've put below would be soooo helpful BEFORE we get drawn into relationships which we learn, to our considerable, cost, are abusive.

At the moment it's available freely on the net, but a) you've got to look for it and b) you've got to have the means to, and, be able access the net without someone giving you major controlling grief which, as we all know, many abused women (and men) cannot do that easily, if at all.

It would be a massive starting point if this sort of stuff could be made into some sort of durable postcard, or something tangible, which could be given out freely by all major supermarkets with people's shopping and at petrol stations and stuck on the back of loo doors in as many places as possible. Wow - you could really reach some people doing that.

psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/10/13/21-warning-signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/

www.yourtango.com/experts/wendy-kay/avoid-abusive-relationship-15-signs-abuser-expert

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4779284/Emotional-abuse-signs-relationship.html