My friend has always been quite bossy and demanding. She's also very insensitive at times, she will say mean things then follow it up straight away with 'you know I dont mean it that way' or I'm joking but u know what I mean' etc
She has regularly slated my little girl, comparing her to her own stepdaughter who she dislikes immensely, telling me my little girl is going to be trouble and used the word bitch when talking about her dsd in the context of comparing the two girls.
She's told me my hair looks shit when I've walked into a lunch date with her and several others, many of whom I did not know and so many little things over the years, she's quite controlling, I gave her lots of time when her dh left her recently, she was devastated, I supported her then she just became more and more in need of my time and carried on being insensitive so I started distancing myself, things like slating people with mental health issues whilst knowing I have mh issues, using Daily Fail and Express sound bites to disparage my political leanings which may seem petty but she was basically doing it to upset me. She also rubbished my new business calling my stuff crap (all in jest of course), saying she can get better elsewhere (then coming to me later to buy from me and try to piggy back my event whilst expecting me to take all responsibility and make all the financial outlay.
Tried to railroad me into a holiday I could never afford (we're both single parents but she is a high earner with one child whereas I'm disabled with two kids on a low wage) I said no to the holiday but she kept on asking me saying she needed something to look forward to. I'd never want to go on holiday with her as find her too suffocating.
she really upset me the day after I'd dealt with some sensitive bereavement stuff, knowing what I'd been thru she sent me a text letting me know something I didn't need to know at that time (she knew it would upset me more) I replied telling her it was thoughtless and unnecessary. She said she hadn't meant it that way and would never intentionally hurt me.
Anyway, for me that was the last straw and a perfect time for me to end our friendship.
I stopped responding to her altogether, she carried on messaging and phoning. I either took days to respond or ignored her altogether.
She started sending me messages telling me how brilliant I am , offering me gifts etc , I'd either ignore or politely refuse but she hasn't stopped.
She's not getting the message so I feel I have to spell it out 'I don't want to be your friend anymore' she has just messaged me today saying she's got some bits for my little girl.
I don't know how to respond. I don't want to drag it out any more and just want it cut and dried but at the same time don't want a big confrontation: she's never wrong and is quite tenacious.
I just don't want that kind of person in my life anymore, she makes me feel crap whether intentionally or not.
The icing on the cake is that we are both meant to be going out tomorrow night in a larger group of friends. I really want to go but I don't want her to think we're pally and go back into her usual mode of belittling me or thinking we're still bezzies.
So , what would you do in my position?
Thanks
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
More of a wwyd than an aibu, friendship run its course
Jellyheadbang · 18/08/2017 11:54
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