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I can't bear it again

(10 Posts)
SassySandra Mon 12-Jun-17 18:08:33

Six years ago my dh cheated on me, he had a relationship with a women much younger. Me and dh are 43 she is 28. Dh got her pregnant and now she has a ds in the same school as my eldest and he is in the year below him and he is year above my youngest dc.

Everyday I see her I can't help but feel incredibly insecure and jealous. She tried to get dh to leave me despite knowing I had young ds. She's young, slim and beautiful and I'm just not as attractive as her in any way.

My friend caught dh out with a younger women and it turns out he's been having another affair. I can't help but feel like I've failed and wasn't enough for him.

I've decided to leave dh and have been away from him for four months. However I have found out from the same friend that dh was out having a meal with the first ow and the mother of his second son.

I just want to leave town and move somewhere else but I'm a bit stuck, I've got to sell the house and I'm worried about setting up new links. I'm worried dh will demand custody and that she will be their stepmother.

Aibu I've been a sahm since my first dc was born and I've been living off savings. I'm going to move in with family 60 miles away when I can until I get set up on my own but I'm worried about the dc schooling.

Aibu to move away.

Tippitoesandbuttonnose Mon 12-Jun-17 18:11:10

YANBU. He is for putting you in this situation. So sorry OPflowers

SassySandra Mon 12-Jun-17 18:28:14

flowers thank you

feelingoldandtired Mon 12-Jun-17 18:34:45

As much as it will be hard for you I think moving will be the best thing. One affair I wouldn't forgive but two surely you deserve better than this

If your husband can't keep it in his pants the likehood is he'll fuck all of his other girlfriends over so you may on the long run have sympathy but I wouldn't waste you're emotions on being jealous. You can't compete
With someone younger who could but there must have been something missing in your relationship and hopefully you may find this when you move on with someone else xxx hope this dosent sound too harsh what I am trying to say is move on you deserve better and to be happy

OhhBetty Mon 12-Jun-17 19:30:51

Let him crack on. I don't know why anyone would want to look at him let alone have a meal with him!
I'd move if I were you! In fact I'm due to move soon but the difference is DS's dad wouldn't give a fuck if he never saw him again!

Allabitmuchisntit Mon 12-Jun-17 19:41:55

Yanbu. Move. Putting distance between yourself and this quite frankly intolerable situation, will do wonders for your self esteem. I wouldn't give it a second thought.
Get gone and don't look back.

UnicornSparkles1 Mon 12-Jun-17 19:46:08

Do it. Make a fresh start for you and your boys.

Your husband wouldn't stand a chance in hell of getting custody - you are their primary carer.

inkydinky Mon 12-Jun-17 19:55:30

Move. As fast as you can. It won't get any better. My children are at school with the OWs children (not my exHs) and they have to watch their Dad pick up someone else's children. I left them on the school because I thought stability was important. I now know I was wrong. I should have settled them elsewhere as soon as I could but missed the chance. Dealing with him and her at every school event is hideous and although I've perfected my "fixed grin" I hate every second and it has ruined school life for me (and don't get me started in the gossip I was the centre of). Go to your family and don't look back x

Sugarpiehoneyeye Mon 12-Jun-17 20:01:23

Yes, off you go OP, have a great life, you'll make it work.
He is a total loser, they are welcome to him, he won't improve.💐

isitjustme2017 Mon 12-Jun-17 20:31:07

What a complete twat. These other women deserve him OP, and you deserve better. I definitely think moving away would do you the world of good. Do something for YOU now.
Take comfort in the knowledge that he will probably never stay faithful and you are well out of it flowers

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