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Relationships

Help / Advice... Ex BF

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Suzie183 · 27/04/2017 10:45

Need some advice / help.

I was married for 16 years to a very abusive man and after getting out of the marriage I have suffered with PTSD.

I then met an amazing man who I was with for 4 years but not without our problems.

My issues, which I have been working on in counselling, are that I get insecure and too emotional and find it difficult to talk to my partner in a calm, logical way.

A year ago we broke up for 3 months (he asked for another chance - felt he was half a man without me) then got back together and it has been better than ever but after a year we have fallen out and now he says it will never work between us and has been back in his comfort zone where he withdraws and shuts out everything, convincing himself that he is better alone and thinks/feels hurtful things about me and about us. He tells himself he is not good enough and just wants me to be happy and he struggles to talk and with his emotions. Says he cannot go on like this and does not want the stress in his life, after one fall out in a year, and yet says he cares about me. Confused!

When we are good together we are great but when it goes like this it is horrid and I don’t know how to get him back, how to talk to him or what to do right now. I would like him to come to counselling with me as he has a lot of issues but I don’t know how to ask him (don't think he would go - think he is scared) and I really don’t know how to repair the relationship.