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It's the run up to dh calling it a day

(7 Posts)
tonyonetonytwo Sun 09-Apr-17 20:27:26

I just know it. I just know that he's going to come home in a bit from the pub and it's going to be it.

We've been to the pub all day just having a nice drink with family and after trying to make polite neutral conversation with him and not getting much back I could feel the atmosphere getting really really awkward and tense for the rest of us sat at the table. I didn't think it was fair and so I suggested just normal and cheery as to not make the atmosphere worse that I take the kids home to get their tea and pjs on and just let me know when you need picking up I don't mind coming back for you. Suggesting he can have a nice drink then with his family and not to worry il sort the kids. I genuinely think it will do him some good.
Everyone said they were having to get home early for work in the morning anyway after about half an hour or so.

This was 3 hours ago.
We've been struggling lately and he's having councilling as he feels lost and confused about what he wants from life including me.
I just know tonight's the night. I'm not going to initiate an argument I'm just going to be myself and be nice as usual. I just can't sit around anymore though knowing the inevitable is coming. It's breaking my heart and I feel crushed. I can't eat . I can't function. I feel like it's all slipping though my fingers and there's nothing I can do to save our marriage. We were so happy .....

kerrymumbles Sun 09-Apr-17 20:30:05

god tony, that sounds all sorts of shite.

I am unfamiliar with your backstory (if you've posted about it before) but it seems to me that you are the only one fighting for this. That's not how it should be. He should be fighting for you and your family.

Don't settle for less. No matter how scary the implications are, you deserve someone who will fight for you.

Bluntness100 Sun 09-Apr-17 20:33:30

I'm sorry op. I don't really have any advice but I didn't want to just read your post and then not comment. Stay strong, change isn't as scary as it seems and may be for the better,💐

tonyonetonytwo Sun 09-Apr-17 20:46:15

Apparently he's depressed but I'm not sure as to if that's the cause just yet as so far he's said he's feeling unappreciated . This happened before a few wars ago and he told me he was confused as to why when he feels like this that his feelings for me are always confusing. We got through it last time and we were happy or so I thought until this has all come up again. He's seeing a councillor again and does benifit from it a little. It's not just me it's work and family and everything but apparently our relationship is a big part of it. I've told him that the things that have gone wrong can be fixed and that's what marriage is about working through these bumps along the road and staying strong. He says he wants to feel better and be happier again . I'm just not sure he means with me or at least I'm not sure he is ready to tell me it's over. We were so happy and I love the bones off him. He says he doesn't know if he loves me or if he just cares about me so much that he doesn't want to leave. God I'm so confused I feel I just need a straight cut answer.

tonyonetonytwo Sun 09-Apr-17 20:46:51

*years not wars hmm

LockedOutOfMN Sun 09-Apr-17 20:48:41

From your latest post it does sound as if he has depression. I don't have any advice for you but didn't want to read and run. Stay strong.

tonyonetonytwo Sun 09-Apr-17 20:54:08

Thankyou ... this sounds awful to say but I hope it is depression and that some time to heal a little with my support and councilling too might help him to see things a lot clearer when it comes to decisions with our future. That's what the councillor has advised anyway that he wait until he is feeling a little better before making any drastic decisions. God it just hurts so so so much to know that you aren't loved by the one person who means the world to you. It's so painful and I feel I've caused it all by not noticing sooner that he was struggling. He's always been a wonderful man and husband to me. So helpful around the house when I've struggled after having the babies. I've told him umpteen times over and over how much I appreciate it. He just hasn't believed me and doesn't believe me when I tell him how gorgeous he is ....

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