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Hand hold please - moving out

(7 Posts)
Joiningthegang Sat 08-Apr-17 12:10:15

My husband of almost 15 years, 3 children (9,11,15) is moving out today - we are getting divorced, we have grown apart - but it is still hurting like hell.
Been more friends than lovers for some time, he had a one night stand, I found out, he confesssed - it's over

But I still love him and want us both to be ok - not together, but to co-parent and be kind

In 19 years we never argued (probably part of the problem) and neither of us was ever unkind - I so hope that can continue and we can be as kind and generous as we can to be fair all round.

Thanks in advance of your hand holding x

foodiefil Sat 08-Apr-17 12:13:41

Sending love and strength. As desperately sad as it is for all of you your attitude is great. Keep that up. It's about the children. Focus on that - their relationship with you both and making sure they're ok. You sound like a great mum - you're level headed certainly. Take care of you too x

Ratbagcatbag Sat 08-Apr-17 12:14:18

Hand holding. I'm doing the same next week. Even though I know it's the right thing it hurts.

I was told it's like the grief cycle, so there's the idealising, and now the sadness. It will be tough, you've shared a lot and it's not easy to separate from that.

Hand holding all you need here.

Joiningthegang Sat 08-Apr-17 12:24:13

Adult-Ing is tough today - have been really strong all week - I am lucky I do have some amazing friends and I will get through this - but today is a definite difficult day x

stilllookingforthehills Sat 08-Apr-17 12:26:56

Sending you love and hugs you can get through this xx

siblingrevelryagain Sat 08-Apr-17 12:33:16

You sound like my ex and I; been separated 3 years post (his) affair. He now lives with the other woman.

Through keeping things civil initially and being respectful to each other even when we didn't feel like it we have managed to maintain contact and have enough of a relationship that we can comfortably and considerately communicate about our children and our lives.

Things might be one strained but as long as you can try not to resort to name calling and blame you'll be fine.

Whilst initially in the wrong my ex DH has always been more than fair and respectful so we've been able to be friendly (what it boils down to is that we still like and care for each other, just no longer as an intimate couple, which is sad but nobody died and the children deserve to be kept completely free from any adult 'shit').

Joiningthegang Sat 08-Apr-17 12:42:38

Thank you - good to hear about people further down the line.
I know it will be ok one day, just the steps like telling the children, telling my mum, etc etc are tough, but each step takes me nearer to being happy again x

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