I am worried about being outed irl on here so have put off posting
I just don't want to do this anymore. DH is depressed and finding it impossible to deal with our family life. He doesn't believe in using anti-d and thinks the problem all lies with me.
Our child has complex SN and is very hard to live with. There is virtually no support despite being on the CAMHS treadmill. He is refusing to take meds and blames me for the arguments between DH and me.
I had undiagnosed PND for many years. After a couple of years of anti-ds I feel as though I have found myself again. This has coincided with DH being depressed and being very unkind about me taking anti-d. I have put on weight and he is openly nasty about this. Says why don't I have a problem with it. Looks at me in disgust then why I stand up for myself says that all women are mental about weight and he is just speaking the truth. He has a problem his wife is on anti-d and seems offended. Doesn't take into account that everyday life is horrendous and stressful and isolating.
He pulls away and shuts himself in his study when he can't cope. I get left to sort out everything. I never can pull away even though I need a break because I can never rely on him to cope.
I feel I am the only adult in this relationship and am a carer for him. He is always angry and self pitying. The kids are beginning to copy him. I am the safe parent who never walks away do they take out all of their stress on me.
I feel like I can no longer cope. I don't have anyone to talk to. I am a sahm. I used to be independent and confident. Now I can't believe this is my life. The kids think he is great and I am falling apart.
He thinks we just need to go out on date nights. I said it is the day to day stuff which is killing us. I am being talked to like I am shit by him and ds. My family think we just need a romantic break. It feels as though it is my responsibility to make everything better. I am trying but he is not. Why do I have to do everything?? I am responsible for myself and my kids. I can't make a stubborn adult better when they will not see the problem.
I feel like just walking away but I could never do that to the kids.
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Relationships
I can't keep going like this
4 replies
CountessYgritte · 07/04/2017 21:47
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