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Ex still trying to control me

(5 Posts)
stuckwithnowheretogo Sat 01-Apr-17 11:31:27

Not sure whether I am cutting my nose to spite my face etc..

We split last year after 26 years of marriage, it got very nasty towards the end with the police attending our house due to his erratic & suicidal behaviour.
I have been living with our DS in our own little house for 7 months - we love it.
Relations with my Ex have improved in the last month but I have noticed he is trying to control me again (when we were married I wasn't allowed out the house etc).
The other evening he came to pick DS up - I knew he would be driving past the supermarket so I asked if he could drop me off & I would walk back. "what do you need to get then ? " so I declined to go with him.

Yesterday he asked how I was managing financially (he pays me nothing) & I said it was a struggle but I was managing.
He said if I needed money he would wire some over, I said £100 would be great - it would cover food, petrol etc.
Then he said " I'll take you food shopping, wouldn't want you spending my money on going out (not been out once)"
So I refuse & said I would be fine.
Ai cutting my nose or he is, indeed, trying to control again ?

LilQueenie Sat 01-Apr-17 11:35:35

decline it all. He may be trying to worm his way into your life again. why is he not paying csa?

jeaux90 Sat 01-Apr-17 11:39:41

Nope you are doing the right thing. Cut contact as much as you can. He should be paying maintenance for your kid though. Contact should be texts and only about child arrangements.
Well done for being so strong x

Megatherium Sat 01-Apr-17 11:46:22

Of course he is trying to control you again. Contact the Child Maintenance service to get maintenance sorted out properly.

happypoobum Sat 01-Apr-17 11:47:04

How old is DS? Is he young enough that he should be paying maintenance?

Were you married? Are you getting divorced?

If DS is an adult then I wouldn't have any contact with him at all and I certainly wouldn't be asking him for lifts if he is controlling. If DS is a child then you should go via CSA (or whatever they are called now) for maintenance. Still you should minimise your contact with him though.

Good luck flowers

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