I've been divorced for almost a year, it's been difficult but I have no regrets. He cheated a few times over the years, always my fault for neglecting him - bless him! 
He admitted to one OW, she told me about another (which he denied) and I later found out that there had been another as I suspected just before he moved out. We were married for 18 years and the affairs were during the last few years. However, I saw a close friend this week and she admitted that he had tried it on with her mant years ago. At the time, we had been married for 3 years and had 2 babies. Obviously I believe my friend and I'm grateful that she told me but the more I think about it, the angrier I am with him. I knew he was a class A cunt anyway but despite this I didn't think he would ever have tried it on with one of my closest friends, especially not at a time when we were supposedly happy and had 2 small children! Obviously it has reinforced that divorcing him was the right thing to do but I feel as if I'm angry at him all over again! I really want to confront him about this plus it's got me wondering how many more there were and questioning my judgement because at that time I would have confidently said that he would never have cheated. I'm worried I'll never be able to trust a man again! Grrrr, what an absolute twat! It wouldn't be worth confronting him would it?
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New revelations about my cheating ex... renewed hatred!
WeeMcBeastie · 18/03/2017 10:36
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You would be wasting your breath. Just wait....Karma will arrive one day for him.
Fwiw, my first H was a member of the same cunt club. He tried it on with my Mum, my sister, every single one of my female friends, lots of work colleagues....I always had a gut feeling something was off, but no-one told me the truth and I never caught him in the act....until one evening, a male friend was so pissed off that my H had tried to snog his wife, that he told me about everything (they were friends, so he knew most of it). It was such a shock, but then lots of things fell in to place (iyswim).
I don't know how many of my friends actually slept with him. I suspect one of my best friends did, as she was going through a divorce at the time, and when I think back she was always flashing her cleavage at him (uurgh). I know for certain, that my very best friend did, as I checked his phone and there it was, in black and white. I left him then. And ditched her (obviously).
For a few years he led the single life, out at bars every weekend, scanning for women. 2 years after I left, he got serious with a woman. I can remember thinking "if he can cheat on his wife and the mother of his children (me), then I'm sure he isn't going to be faithful to her".....fast forward a few years, after she had moved in, and of course history repeated itself and he cheated on her. I suspect with her sister, for various reasons. So she left him.
Cut to now (9 years after I left) and he has a new GF of a year. She has a young DD. She's desperate to move the relationship to the next level. I feel so sorry for her, as I know just how her little story is going to end and she's so invested....
He's 50 later this year. At what point does this type of guy stop shagging about? Probably never.
Fwiw, I have a lovely DH now. Devoted, faithful, a real good guy. They do exist! Oh and the irony....he is ten times fitter and better looking than first H. We've been together for 8 years. He's lovely.
Don't lose faith, there are lovely men out there. You were just unlucky, like me, the first time around.
You will find a lovely guy, and this will all fade away....whereas he will probably die alone....
Yes Joysmum I did think about that; I understand her reasons but if I'd known then I probably wouldn't have wasted so many years with him. Howeber, he was emotionally abusive and he destroyed my confidence so it took years for me to regain that and find the courage to confront his behaviour. I honestly feel that at that stage I would have reluctantly forgiven him and lost the friendship. As you said petitepeach, at least I am rid of him now. I've been told that the OW believes that we were separated when they got together and that he left me because I was an awful wife! She's quite vocal about how awful I am (despite never having met me) I wonder why she thinks that all mutual friends and even his own family don't blame me either? I've probably brainwashed them all with my lies 
They're not living together yet and I can guarantee this will be when he will show his true colours!
I can appreciate where you're coming from, after this new revelation - it makes it seem almost your entire marriage was a sham.
But I agree with other posters, don't waste any more of your time even thinking about this sorry excuse for a man.
He probably has low self-esteem and constantly needs the boost of females paying him attention - maybe you were busy with the babies and he, poor precious, felt neglected.
Some men are truly pathetic. They never get beyond the attention-seeking toddler stage, emotionally.
However, in other news, there are good guys out there (as opposed to Nice Guys™ - avoid them like the plague) so bide your time and you'll meet someone who will cherish you.
The best revenge is living well, you'll see.
weemcbeastie onwards and upwards for you now....great user name, my lovely lovely DH is Scottish 
Don't waste your energy on hating him, or confronting him. And don't worry about trust in the future, think about yourself. Try suffix that you have always been interested in, give yourself permission to be self serving. Work on self care and meeting your own needs. Your self esteem and instincts ( to avoid losers and smell a rat) will all improve.
Sorry you've been through all this, look to the future
That's exactly how I feel, I wasted such a large part of my life with this tosser. He thinks he is a charming lothatio too! I'm sure it will get easier, I was doing so well but this revelation has shocked me and made me question everything. Thanks for all the replies 
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