My ex was DV in our relationship and DD said late last year that he was violent to her as well. I contacted SS and reported to HV who supported my decision to reduce contact to only supervised with his mother as be supervising person. They both initially agreed to this although ex denied that he had hurt DD and tried to claim I was putting words in her mouth etc. SS spoke to ex and then were no longer interested, said it didn't meet their threshold & we should sort it out between us & that I should seek legal advice. I then moved home with DD at the beginning of this year to be closer to my family & ex-partner knew about this as I discussed it with him in the summer & he agreed to it. I put the plans on hold but the started to put them into motion again around December as ex P and his Mum were harassing me, lying to me, his Mum lied about where DD was when she was supposed to be looking after her overnight she took DD instead to her Dad's house against my wishes and without my consent or knowledge. Only found out afterwards. After this I told her I no longer needed her help with childcare or babysitting. I cut all contact with her as she stared to text me horrible stuff, accusing me of being mentally unstable, damaging my daughter, she emailed my therapist & said I was distorting reality & lying about her son being violent to me/DD.
I did report to Women's Aid and my GP counselling service at the time when we broke up 1.5 years ago & I am going to be assessed for Legal Aid this week at a Solicitors.
Ex has sent me Letter from his Solicitor saying I moved without prior discussion with him which is a lie... he suggested I move in mediation and we discussed it.
In mediation he was intimidating, I found it very stressful, I don't think the mediator handled him well at all. I felt very pressured into agreeing to overnight contact again when my concerns had no been resolved. I still have concerns about his temper, addiction etc. I want him to assure me that is addressing it and how ie. Group Therapy etc.. but he wouldn't give me any details.
At one point in the mediation session, the mediator let it run in for an hour longer than it was supposed to. Felt like I was severely pressured as he was constantly threatening court etc & at one point bashing his hands on the table and barking at me to write dates in my diary. He mediator said nothing.
I don't want to go back to that mediator & I don't know if mediation is even right for us considering the past abuse & his manipulation & dominance of the sessions/me in general.
In the solicitors letter it said he was keen to try and resolve in mediation before court.
What should I reply ? Considering he lied about the unilaterally relocating ... yes I have limited contact but he has still seen her every weekend & had FaceTime in the week all encouraged by me as don't want to shut him out or my daughter to feel that she's lost her Dad.
But at the same time I want to protect her & feel I've done everything I can. I feel he needs a psychological assessment too as he has said in the past (and I have seen it during our relationship) that he suffers from bi polar to some degree.
What can I do legally & what questions should I be asking my solicitor if they take on my case with legal aid ? How should I reply to the solicitors letter ?
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Abusive ex threatening court / lied to solicitor - advice please !
14 replies
NancyPiecrust · 05/03/2017 22:38
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