Comparing yourself to friends

[Indigo89]

Does anyone else do this? How do you stop?

I'm aware how silly and self-destructive this.

Generally, I'm happy with my lot and have so much to be thankful for but I go through phases of getting really incredibly down and upset, to the point of tears, that I don't have a nice new car like Julia or a 6 figure salary like Helen, supportive close-knit family unit like Sarah.

How do I stop this and focus on the positive?

[OneGreyElephantBalancing]

I got older. Seriously. It sounds patronising but it's not meant that way.

I've discovered my values and I'm really happy for my friends who have what they want. I enjoy feeling the good stuff when I'm with them

This comes from escapee of abusive marriage, now single parent working FT and with serious mental health issues.

[OpalFruitsMarathonsandSpira]

I got some amazing therapy because of MH issues and realised my true value. Now I admire my friends, and I am inspired by my friends, but I only compare myself to 'yesterday's me'.

[agnes158]

mindfulness really helps. ive been reading a mindfulness book and the basis of it is to appreciate the small things. There's always going to be someone who has more money/bigger house/better car but just focus about what you DO have rather than what is missing

also spending less time on social media might help (i could use some of my own advice!)

[Indigo89]

agnes158, I may belatedly give up social media for Lent.

[OpalFruitsMarathonsandSpira]

It will be the best thing you ever do!

[Joysmum]

I think it's down to learning that the important thing is to be the sort of person you want to be.

If you are happy in who you are then you will be happy in who your friends are and realise it's not some competition and you can be happy for the good fortune of others.

TBH if you aren't happy in yourself and others happiness take you to the point of tears then the best thing you could do is come off social media and concentrate on getting to the point where you truly are happy with your life. It's something lacks not in you so up to you to try to put that right.