Um, talk to me about facebook 'x was with y' status updates

[1frenchfoodie]

Just seen on my DH's FB feed on of those 'DH is celebrating 3 years of friendship with x' status updates. But at the top it says x was with DH on (a given date).

But on this date he was, as far as he told me, on a camping holiday with a male friend. And not meeting up with this female friend that he texts regularly but I have never met. Is FB accurate on these things? Should I be worried? He has certainly had time to tell me they met up as we have chatted about her job hunt etc.

For background he has not to my knowledge cheated on me but he cheated on his ex wife for years (many years before we met) so he absolutely has it in him to cover up, lie and decieve.

He is alone in our old family home now, finishing up some DIY we couldnt get done before we moved. Am goung to find it hard not to look for signs he is not alone at all...

[Gobbolinothewitchscat]

Can you click further on it to see if it is referring to a historic status that he has been tagged in by someone else?

[pigeondujour]

No it just means they were tagged in something together on that date. Not to worry, unless you've another reason to worry.

[ALemonyPea]

It means the day they became FB friends, so the day he/she accepted the others FB friends request. .

[TheStoic]

So they were 'tagged' in a post together on a certain date 3 years ago?

It doesn't necessarily mean they were together. For eg, she may have been at a movie or a restaurant etc that she knew he liked, and tagged him in her post.

What exactly does the post say? (Or almost exactly, as not to our yourself...)

[Crispbutty]

It just means the other person tagged them. I agree the way it words it is misleading but it certainly doesn't mean he was with the person who tagged him.

For example if I was to go to Paris today and wanted to alert my mate to it I would put her name in my post and it would say "crispbutty is with Jane smith in Paris"

[sooperdooper]

It's just the date they were tagged together, I could tag anyone at any time even if they were on the other side of the world and nowhere near me!

It's nothing to worry about in itself, but it doesn't sound like you trust him much op if your first thought is that he's up to no good!

[Trills]

Another possibility is that they were together at an event, a photo was taken, but the photo was not uploaded til the next week.

[OnionKnight]

There's no trust, your marriage is dead OP.

[Happybunny19]

Why has your husband got a female friend who he has regular text contact with that you've never met? That's really odd IMO.

[Joysmum]

Why has your husband got a female friend who he has regular text contact with that you've never met? That's really odd IMO

It's not odd to me. I have both male and female friends my DH has never met because my hobby doesn't interest him. I've often said that if I died, he'd only know 1/4 of the people at my funeral. Likewise for him as we are both independent people.

[Happybunny19]

If me or dp have any friends significant to have regular contact with we would have at least met them in passing. We have our own friends, but if he had another female friend in regular contact I'd never met I would be suspicious. Perhaps that's just us, but worth asking OP what their set up is.

[1frenchfoodie]

They became FB friends 3 years ago, having originally known each other anout 15 years ago, but the 'X was with DHsname' date at the top of the 'became friends 3 years ago' post was about 4 months ago on a date he was supposed to be camping with a friend.

I've not met her as she lives hours away, he knows her from forces life overseas a decade+ before we met. I have male friends I FB/text the he hasn't met, that is not the issue. But if he was supposed to be away with a mate and in fact met up with her and then hid it from me that is a very different thing.

[OneWithTheForce]

What does it say they were at? Click on it to see if it's a photo or an event or whatever.

[1frenchfoodie]

Thanks for the info on the frankly bizarre way FB works

For example if I was to go to Paris today and wanted to alert my mate to it I would put her name in my post and it would say "crispbutty is with Jane smith in Paris

So doubt I do have anything to worry about, just seemed very strange that they were 'together' at all without mentioning it, let alone on a date he was on a lads holiday. I had no idea FBs idea of together was no how anybody else would define it!!

[TheCakes]

Is it a 'friendversary' status, or an X was at The Red Lion Pub - drinking beer - with Y type status?
I can't think that I've seen those come up unless they are shared by either party.

[TheCakes]

Sorry that took ages to type. Ignore me.

[1frenchfoodie]

Guess it is a friendiversary so what I was really seeing was the fact he became FB friends with her exactly 3 years before going on a lads holiday. Any I have to be more than a little screwed up to think there was anything fishy in that 😄

I post on FB about once every 6 months just to reassure more distant friends I am still alive so no wonder I needed the wisdom of MNers to work this out. Thanks.

[cece]

Is there a photo linked to the tag?

It could mean they were together or it could mean that whoever tagged them wanted the other person to know where they were.

[TheStoic]

It's still confusing, OP. But as long as you're reassured, that's all that matters.