I've posted about my inlaws before (I'm a constant name changer). However things have well and truely gone tits up and I don't know how to help DH.
Quick background (doesn't cover the whole thing). Dh had a fucked up childhood. He has 3 step siblings who swapped between living with dh, their mum and dh dad and living with their dad. Dh mostly lived with his parents by himself. Dh parents were crap with money, bailiffs constantly calling etc. his parents used to make 10yo dh open the door and say his parents weren't in. They also sent him out to walk miles on his own to ask family for money. They got kicked out of house after house. Dh had lived in 35 houses and I is 33 years old. They never taught him basic hygiene etc. His whole childhood was a mess. He still sees them now though and they are quite controling, emotional black mail etc. They feel our house with cheap, broken second hand shit for our dc and then go in about how wonderful they are as grandparents. They are always ringing to borrow money off is even though they know we struggle financially (dh has stopped giving them money). That's just a brief idea of where we are. Dh has started counselling as these thing have started to effect out marriage, especially as he has no concept of money managment. counselling has obviiusly bought up a lot of stuff including repressed memories. He tried tonget in tough with his step siblings who have all gone nc with thier mum. But none of them want to speak to him while he speaks to their mum. Dh has obviously been struggling with everything so rang his mum today to ask why she had out him through all this as a child. She refused to speak to him about it and just started crying and asking why every one hates her. Dh lost it and said if she won't answer his questions then he won't see either of them again. He hasn't heard anything since hanging up. He'sobviously devesrated but I don't know how to help him. I suffer from pnd so at the moment we have 2 ppl with depression in the house and I don't want it to effect the dc but I also want to be able to help DH through this. Has anyone got any advice.
Sorry for the long post.
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how to help DH over massive family issue
11 replies
punkpuffin · 05/02/2017 23:14
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