AIBU to be hoppping mad ( if i had the energy that is)

[1to10andstartagain]

so mother of 2 , one is 2 , other 9 . ( plus older sons friend for two night sleepover).

DP told me after sleepover arranged that he wouldnt be home on friday night as he was going out straight from work then drivng to see another friend for weekend . not home till sunday afternoon .
im mad because he didn't put in calender so i didnt know ( i could have gone to friends with children)

i work 3 days a week so weekends are precious family time , he often isnt home till just before bedtime, now he has called to say stuck in traffic so the meal we had planned to take children to wont happen and im scrabbling in freezer to get a meal together.

i hate him going away at weekends , have no family nearby to help out and feel envious of my seperated friends who get a day or weekend off

anyone else feeling my pain ?

[ImperialBlether]

It sounds as though he's living like a single man. How come he goes off for weekends on his own - is that something he does often?

[1to10andstartagain]

no not often but when he does its bloody hard work and it was the two nights out arranged that made me mad . also the 4 days stag do he is going on in summer ( thats a holiday in my book) and wedding with no children invited . we have no one who we can leave children with so thats another weekend he will be away , we are arguing a lot about this , I think he thinks because other parents get weekends away he can do it ( without me) but as i say we have no families who can help out and youngest is only 2

fed up of getting angry about this

[ImperialBlether]

He sounds completely selfish. When you have children everything changes - it sounds as though he just doesn't get that.

How do you get on when he is home?

[1to10andstartagain]

hes just come back, i am so tired and mad that i cant talk to him , apparently he had a lovely time going out with friend and his partner and her friends !!!!!!!!! meals drinking ! im looking forward to seeing facebook posts of him with his arms round some women ( oh didn't i mention that ? yes that was a barbque and women was friends sister so that's ok , isnt it)

honestly

[1to10andstartagain]

when he is home and its just us we get on great , normal niggles with children .... but i always feel he is looking out for himself i.e if we go out he has to be the one drinking , leaving me to drive or stay sober to get up with children .

[RiceCrispieTreats]

He's selfish.

[RiceCrispieTreats]

Selfish people are not good partners.

[Stopmithering]

Do you ever get weekends away?
If not, get organising.
Think he owes you.

[1to10andstartagain]

i know , as you can tell i have a lot of things im not happy about but he makes me feel a failure for not waving him off with a smile and " have a good time darling " then not welcoming him home.

does anyone agree with him that other men can have weekends away with out there partners making a fuss ( many of his friends dont have children or have extensive family members who care for children so there parents can go away together , that isnt us , i wish it was , but it isnt

i feel like leaving but i love my children and would miss them a lot

[kittybiscuits]

I don't think you'd have to miss them much because I doubt they would be seeing dad very often. The way he treats you is despicable. And his breezing through it technique would make me want to kill him.