Hi
I'm thinking of ways to best summarise my situation. I'm after unbiased advice, I have no family around and few of my own friends who are independent of my husband.
My marriage has taken a down-turn for the last 2 years. We are both in our early 30's and have been together since we were 16 and 18, each our first and only partners. We have three children.
Things became routine as they often do with young children and we became distant. He was away for the weekend and I took a nfw picture of myself to send him in an attempt to reignite the spark but at the last min decided against it, thinking there'd be better ways once he is home. Once he returned he was looking at my phone and saw the pic, instantly assuming I was being unfaithful. That hurt.
I was also applying for Uni and had lost some weight. I think he felt I was changing and it made him nervous no matter how much I reassured him.
He'd ask lots of questions about the conversations I was having with my mates, what I was wearing, checking I had knickers on by putting his hand down there (I mean ffs!). There was even the odd occassion he pushed for things to happen in the bedroom when he knew I didn't want to in a bid to convince me it would spice things up. Enough was enough and we discussed separating. He realised he was being unreasonable and we gave it another go. Since then he has been diagnosed with anxiety and although has refused counselling, is on medication although I think he is less vocal about his concerns in a bid to mask the problem and hang onto the marriage.
I'm so close to splitting but am scared of regretting it, being alone, affecting the relationship with the kids and him/me, losing security. I feel responsible for him and married in sickness and health, if it is the anxiety which is the cause. I don't find him attractive most of the time due to his behaviour and things are almost always a chore. We rarely have sex and this causes a big problem for his self esteem and reinforces his negative thoughts but I can't sleep with him for the sake of that, it would be wrong. He is so focused on me I feel it borderlines on obsessed at times. Things can be good for a short time and I think what was I being so silly about, then something unreasonable happens and I kick myself. I'm stuck. Please give me your honest thoughts.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Marriage on the brink
4 replies
Allthethrees33 · 27/01/2017 12:59
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.