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How do I get out?

(5 Posts)
confusedandscared17 Sat 21-Jan-17 21:15:49

I've been with DP for many years. Initially it was good but now he makes me miserable.

It's not a recent thing and has been on the cards for a long time. He can be selfish and cruel, for example tonight he brought a takeaway for dinner for just himself and told me if i wanted to eat than I could cook my own dinner. We had planned to have a takeaway and dvd night today all week. He does this fairly often. He does nothing around the house, expects me to wash, cook and tidy for him and throws a strop if his clothes are not clean or dinner is not made for him. He cannot change and i have had enough, i'm not wasting my life in an unsupportive relationship with a manchild.

I work and can support myself financially but we have many financial ties and I don't know where to start. We have a tenancy agreement in both of our names, a joint account in both of our names, a loan in his name, and I have a savings account in only my name.

I need an exit plan before I tell him as he can be incredibly loud, angry and emotionally manipulative in an arguement and I need to know in my own head what I am doing so he cannot talk me down and convince me otherwise. How do i remove myself from our joint account? Can I call up and just remove myself? I fear he will max out the overdraft as soon as I tell him and do not want to be liable. He's got previous for stupid snap of the moment decisions. I also want to stay in our house. I've brought all the furniture, maintain the house, and don't feel I should leave when he just lives here. Anyone think the LL would be inclined to reissue a contract to just me if I prove he shouldn't be trusted with her house?

Sorry for the ramble. Feeling very low and lost right now and don't know where to start.

jeaux90 Sat 21-Jan-17 22:13:42

What's in the contract in terms of notice or a break clause? Can you talk to the LL tell her the situation and tell her what you want? I would ask CAB about his rights though first. She can always give you notice and then re-issue the contract in your name.

In terms of the joint account if its in credit then I think you can remove yourself from it but ring them up and ask.

Really sounds like you want out, and good for you, he sounds like a selfish nob!!

Reow Mon 23-Jan-17 10:05:53

He sounds vile. Get rid.

Testificateman Mon 23-Jan-17 10:12:54

Start by emptying the joint account, just leave enough for him not to notice.
You might have to call into the bank to change details.
Main thing is, get out quickly and don't look back. He sounds a complete nob.

Thinkingofausername1 Mon 23-Jan-17 11:10:47

He sounds horrible. My dh would never do that when it comes to food. I think you should see a solicitor regarding the financial ties but if you are working definitely get out of there

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